The Art of Letting Go

What we believe determines our life,
like paints determine the color of art.

Or threads become a pattern on the fabric of our life. 

Your stories create the color and pattern of your All.

From the emotions you feel
to all you attract
to you.

It begins with the stories
you choose to spin
and hold onto.

And how you choose
to let go
of those you no longer
need. 

You now have so much freedom –
because you have choice. 

You can stay trapped
in the programmed version of you,

or you can delete delete delete
and recode a new delicious one. 

But here’s the secret universal law
that makes this so much flipping fun . . . 

Whatever choice you make,
it will get you just where you are meant to go.

You can end that self-imposed suffering—
wondering is this the wrong choice?

Is there a better one to make? 

Imagine all the energy you can reclaim
when you breathe in,
breathe out
and choose. 

When you choose to let go,
of the old stories, the old ways of being,
the patterns and habits that take you
down,
down,
down 

there is forgiveness, growth, a new awareness.

In allowing yourself to let go, you tap into your own greatness.  

In letting go, you find your best self and begin to create your most delicious life. 

This is what happens when you no longer push on the pull door of life. 

In other words, when you do all with JOY.

When you play in
curiosity,
childlike wonder,

Or whatever word floats your little rowboat,
or big-ass yacht,
All shifts.

As your energy rises,
as you smile,
as your spirit lifts. 

When you let go of being your story-version of adult and allow yourself to live in play, possibility, purpose, potential, passion . . .

something magical happens. 

That’s not a license to ignore responsibilities,
to not pay your bills,
care for the kiddos,
or do those things you’ve committed to.

But encouragement to look closely at
what works,
what doesn’t.

What IS, simply
because of all the stories
you’ve chosen to buy into
in the past. 

Because as you unravel one story, you will soon discover
10,
100,
1,000 more. 

And it can freak you out
or it can be a freaking treat.

A hide-and-seek game to the you
underneath.   

A you that perhaps doesn’t need to focus on the why but on creating a most delicious life.

One so uniquely yours
what anyone else has to say
matters not.

We’ll save worrying about what others think as a story to dive deep into another day, but for now simply lean into what it costs you to remain trapped in the why—if that’s your tendency.

If it makes you feel delicious, by all means, please do sink into why. 

But if it leaves you feeling a bit lost, confused—like it does so many— 
consider, today, letting why go and breathing in new uplifting possibilities.

Focus instead on creating that new story in your head. 

Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Letting go of the old.

Just like the lungs expand,
your new story will too

as in releasing the old comes the space for new.

You get to choose.

You can only focus on one thing at a time.
Focus on the past, wrapped up in asking why
Focus on your now, this moment in time. 

For this moment dictates what your future will look like. 

In what sandbox do you wish to play? 

It comes down to two things: awareness and choice. 

If you have awareness of a story, you now have a choice,
one that can fill you with wonder—

to let go . . .

Do you even want to? That is the only question.

As it may feel uncomfortable to shed that thing you’ve been attached to for a day, a year, a decade, gasp, more. 

And we tend to bury our heads in the known-sands when in discomfort, even when it’s the very thing irritating our delicate, thin skin. 

At least, that was big-time me, me, me.

When I learned to
acknowledge the story,

no longer pretending it wasn’t a part of me,
no longer hiding from the truth of it—the good, the bad, the ugly.

In lifting my head out of the weighty sands of me,
in seeing that story and how it ruled me, controlled me,
shaped the very life I lived,
hated or loved mattered not . . . 

I now had the choice to take responsibility.
To keep the spin of it,
to ask if it even served me.
To judge it—harshly
or simply to let it go . . . 

A Marie Kondo release with JOY moment—
not of the physical stuff, of which most have aplenty.

But of the often even heavier, more cluttered load
carried upon one’s shoulders
in the form of tale after tale after tale. 

For some it’s a simple moment of
this no longer serves me
and thus, an easy letting go moment. 

For some people and stories, we dig in.
Are tempted perhaps to travel down that Why Way

but see the flashing red lights
I’m shining your way. 

Asking why is a serious misstep out of JOY,
a never ending tunnel,
one that twists and turns
sharper than James Brown did.

Just as why leads to more questions
and keeps you stuck in a never ending loop, 

taking time to think about the story,
to stew in that tale,
instead of simply asking—
does it serve me?—

Now that is a waste of your most precious resource.
Time. 

The old proverb of when you pray, move your feet, comes to mind. I love that as so many think

If I just pray . . .
If I just meditate . . .
If I just ‘om’ . . .
If I just think about it . . .

No! This is your life, and life is meant to be lived.
A delicious verb. 

Because time is never returned to you.
Because to stay in the now bemoaning what was 

last week
last year
a decade ago

is simply staying stuck in the continuing saga of that story.

The one you say no longer serves you.

You must, and yes, I say must as it’s #truth, show up and do your part.

You must move the needle of what you say you want.
Delicious life? Cool. Get moving and create it.

And it starts with letting shit go. 

It’s no longer enough just to sit and think about it.
Humming or not.

You can live in the comfortable-discomfort of a now-known story—
no judgment here.

Or you can do the work and change your story—
with ease, JOY, delight.

Or with a flat attitude of
Another damn story, good God, I swear! 

Your most delicious life is created your way . . .
And it begins with 

do you make it easy? 

or do you make it oh-so hard?

Do you sit in the spin,
consumed by shame, pain, blame?

Replaying convos over and over in your head
Wishing, praying, demanding a different outcome
to something long past dead?

If you’re ready to live in JOY,
it takes jumping the rails of the worn out stories in your head. 

When you’re ready to free yourself of the weight,
and craft a new tale,
pick up a purple pen—
or any color will do

and spin a new web,
a new tale that serves you. 

Sometimes the excitement of creating that most delicious life,
on paper, right in front of you, is the very thing that will enable you to simply, finally, forever let go. 

💜

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Want to get your hands on a first-look copy?
Get on the waitlist today!

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Post Photo Credit: Deborah L Carlson @ratlady

why asking why doesn't serve you

This was an essay I wrote that ended up on the editing room floor under my desk and was nearly chewed on by Haiku, the pup. 

See, much of what I wrote didn’t make it into my new book being released this month nor any of the books to come. 

But given the month of January I just had, it seems fitting to share it here and now.

And if you missed my Wednesday Words article where I shared just how the shit-it-the-fan and I was all but covered in sewerage, a restraining order and bandages, well, you might want to get yourself on my email list today.

Keep reading if you’ve ever yourself stared into the rabbit hole of why? and felt yourself start to sink down, down . . .  down.

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inner-connected 

It’s important to tap into this three letter word—why?
As it’s a trap I myself have fallen victim to for decades. 

A deep sinkhole with a never ending spin. 

One that spirals
down
down
down. 

So many to focus on. 

Why did this happen?
Why me? 

Which often leads to more questions that, if you stop a beat, you too will see have no answer. 

What’s wrong with me?

Imagine if you could see
a blueprint
of why some event happened
laid out before you. 

It would blanket the state you're in, the country, perhaps even the entire continent. 

Who are you to even attempt to read it let alone understand its inner-connectedness to all? 

All things are connected. 

When I got that, I saw that why has no understandable answer to me in the larger-than-me scale of all things. 

Asking Why? wastes my energy, drains me, forces me to tap out of creating what I desire in my life. 

When I uncovered, discovered that the past no longer exists—it’s gone, done, finito—and only lives on within me if, how and when I choose to see it, feel it, express it . . . 

I had freedom to begin to let go.

More on that seldom practiced, yet so very important, art to come. 

But for now, let’s sink in together and imagine for a moment, a crossroads.

One direction you have Why Way and the other you have Delicious Life Lane.

They don’t tend to intersect, but run on opposite tracks.

One may have you looking back, back, back even as you press forward.
Only you know if that feels heavy or light. 

The other may have you
floating,
stumbling,
skipping,
succeeding.

A path less traveled, as Robert Frost would likely say,
As this DL Lane is specific to you and only you. 

Simply step forward and enJOY the journey.
And allow this path to be one for you—
a Down Low Lane
where you don’t need permission to just be you.

One perhaps more rocky than the other—
You may assume Why Way is the road unpaved

But is it?
There is only one way to see . . .
Choose 

Either path is divinely laid out for you.
There is no right
no wrong

There is simply your way. 

And hey,
you may say screw it,
cut through the field
in front of you,
the one with no signs,
no already-paved path.

Doing it completely,
Utterly
your way. 

Good on you.
That’s all I have to say.

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If you enJOYed this editing-room essay,
you may just want to dive deep into my new book.
It’s coming out this month and you can get first dips by joining the waitlist today.
You might even have the opportunity to become a first-look reader.

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Post Image By Johannes Plenio @jplenio

The Art of Masked Communication

I have to first say that I’ve lived in a bubble, 

choosing to see the world as good. 

Choosing to see possibility even in a time such as now. 

I’ve actually always lived in a bubble, but this bubble has extended to my location, a small island in the middle of a tropical blue sea. 

And even though most people have been hit over the head with COVID-this, COVID-that, I have been extremely fortunate. 

Able to tune most of it out. 

Able to walk about freely. 

Able to enJOY my life. 

Yes, there was a lockdown. 

Yes, there are new standards, rules, ways of being a part of a community. 

However, we have had less than a handful of cases on this little slice of paradise, until recently. 

So back to that bubble, both self-imposed and my reality as COVID has simply not impacted me to the extent it has so many.

Until I traveled. 

I’m not normally masked up but for much of this time period my face was half covered, and so was everyone else's. 

In fact, I just had a conversation for ten minutes with someone I know and it literally took me eight minutes to figure out who the hell I was talking to.

For the life of me I could not place this man. 

I found myself wracking my brain as I tried to keep up.

I obviously knew I knew this man. 

I recognized his voice. 

He knew me.

He even said my name immediately. 

Not a problem for him to figure out who I am, yet for me . . . 

as half his face was covered, I had a hard time figuring out who the hell it was I was chatting with as I waited for my takeout order. 

And I felt horrible for a hot second, but had to forgive myself because I am SO visual. 

And for me, this is new. Not seeing people. Not connecting fully. Not experiencing all the facial expressions. 

If you didn’t know, I’m very expressive. I don’t have a poker face, thus I don’t play. 

[Kidding. But when I do play, I win, so watch out!]

But back to this man, not being able to identify him quickly without seeing his face made me curious. . . 

Has this ever happened to you? 

Really sink into this ask, and what impact not seeing a co-worker’s, friend’s, stranger’s face may be having on how you connect with them. 

In a world that’s already a bit disconnected, polarized, 

toss in this communication hardship . . . 

that perhaps should have engaged my other senses 

but simply triggered my mind to spin asking, who the hell is this . . ? 

And people could really start to feel
misunderstood, even with someone you know.
Alone, even in a crowded room. 

That moment, and my recent travel encouraged me
to find a new way to smile 
to acknowledge 
to communicate 

And it all came down to my eyes. 

Did you know you can say thank you with your eyes? 

Smile with your eyes? 

Flirt with your eyes?

I didn’t do that this past trip as my Frenchman wasn’t present, and I am after all a rather loyal soul . . . but I know it’s possible. 

How do you think I snagged that ooh-la-la hot man?!

So let’s talk eyes and how we focus with intention to improve how we connect with people during this rather interesting time.

Here’s three tips to improve your communication skills and help you connect with those you come into eye-contact with. 

Warning, if you are used to shying away from staring another in the eyes, I feel your sudden pain. 

We have an entire generation or two who would rather look down, but even they need to look eye-to-eye upon occasion. 

Start small. Start in your very own mirror each and every morning as you wake up. 

Wanna get good at it? 

Cover the lower part of your face (with that mask) or put a sticky note on your mirror so your sole focus is staring into your own eyes. 

Work your way up to five full minutes of eye-to-eye combat, I mean connection, and see how deeply you feel. 

Register what it is you see and feel when you
widen your eyes,
squint your eyes,
smile with your lips and your eyes. 

Then try a frown and notice only your eyes. They speak volumes if you are but aware. 

Doing this—communicating a thought, feel, emotion with your eyes as you brush your teeth morning, noon and night—will get you Tyra Banks perfect in no time flat. 

Just have fun and be you. 

Not a nervous version of you, you’re alone! So let down your hair and your guard and get your eye-play on for five minutes, three times a day. 

Soon you and those you communicate with will be thanking me! 

One. 

Smile with your eyes. 

We get laugh lines for a reason. 

The eyes are part of the smile that’s unique to you. 

So now be aware that your eyes can smile and up the wattage to account for your fabulous upturned lips not being visible. 

I pretend I’m on the Broadway stage of my life and everything must be just a little bit bigger, bolder, more for the person in the very back row.

Two. 

Say thank you with your eyes. 

Play and say the words out loud to yourself. What happens with your eyes? 

Self awareness right now is key in elevating your somewhat limited facial communication skills. 

When you say thank you, watch what your eyes do when you mean it, when you take the time, when you feel gratitude.

The eyes move, they crinkle, they light up. 

Your eyes speak volumes if you focus on them. Add a head nod in for extra effect. 

Personally, I channel my grandfather and his generation. The last to wear a hat and reach to lift it, chin dipping down in a head nod when they allowed a woman to pass. 

So incredibly old-school polite, respectful, dapper dare I say. 

So smile behind that dang mask, saying thank you with heartfelt meaning, and simply exaggerate the eyes. 

Add in that optional head nod if it works for you. 

Three.

Widen your eyes, not with deer-in-headlights intensity,
but with excitement if that’s what you feel,
surprise if that’s what is in you.  

When we speak, our eyes change shape.
They can shine when excited. 

Go back to that mirror the next time you brush your teeth and look surprised, see what your eyes do.

It’s actually a fun way to get to know yourself and if willing, laugh at your own reflection. And if you have kids, a great way to be silly while teaching them the importance of getting to know thyself. 

You might think this is premeditating your expressions and I hear that. And respectfully disagree. 

What if it’s simply being aware of new ways you can communicate given half your face may not be visible much of the time?

And in my opinion, the half that most people focus on because we love a great smile. 

Just as if you broke an arm, you’d find new ways to pull that jacket closer around your fine-self to keep you warm. Heck, new ways to do a hell of a lot of things, would you not? 

And that’s what this time calls for in my humble opinion. 

Not a focus on what’s wrong, but a focus on how we can reconnect and enJOY our lives during this somewhat or very trying time. 

Even goats recognize, and appreciate, a smile. A study done years ago had photos of smiling people hung on one side of a pen and non-smiling faces on the other. 

Guess which side of the pen the goats gravitated toward, hung out in? Even when the photos were switched. 

A smile matters to animals. 

Imagine how much a smile or lack of seeing one over time impacts a human. You. 

In fact, the smile is so important in conveying emotion and communicating that there was a seminar I used to go to and the front row was always asked to stand at one point and turn to face the rest of the audience. 

As this was pre-COVID times, masks weren’t even a part of our reality, the presenter would ask the front row, now facing the audience, to smile. 

And the audience, without fail, would automatically start to smile back. Even laugh. 

Then the front row would be asked to not smile. To frown or simply look stern or not-so-happy. 

No joke, you could feel the energy in the room shift. Dampen. Smiles fading from all the faces. And rather quickly.

A smile, like a picture, is worth a thousand words. 

And not seeing people’s smiles right now, in this trying time of COVID, it’s having an impact that’s not yet fully understood. 

We need smiles. 

We thrive on smiles. 

We bloom inside and out when someone smiles. 

Whether at us or not simply doesn’t matter. 

So let me end on a note that can benefit you in a most delicious way. 

Smile at yourself in the mirror each evening before you go to bed. 

Smile at yourself in the mirror each morning when you rise and shine. 

Give yourself the gift of your own radiant smile and remember that even with half your face covered, if you are masked up during the day, your smile is still felt, internally and externally, because everything is energy. 

And the eyes tell the story and those are still very much visible.  

P.S. Take off those shades and express yourself!

💜

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One Hour Does Have The Power To
Open Doors & Transform Your Life

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Post Photo Credit Pascal Bernardon @pbernardon

What If Words Could Change Your Life?

What if words could change your life? 

You’d be all in, would you not?

Well, here’s the deal. Words can change your life.

And you’re saying a sh*t-ton of words to yourself on the daily, oftentimes without even realizing it.

See our thoughts are made up of words. What we feel comes from what we think about—again, words.

And what we end up doing in our life, feeling each day we live, and experiencing every moment, is in direct correlation to yep, you guessed it, the words we think, speak and lean into.

So, what words are you saying? 

What words are you thinking? 

What words are you feeling?

What words does that critical voice in your head whisper (or shout) to you on repeat?

You know that voice, 99.9% of us have it, and it’s that negative, broken-ass-record that never shuts up.

Until now . . .

Silencing all those words and discovering a way to say, hear, and listen for empowering words—well, that’s what I’m all about.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—Words Are My SuperPower. 

Period. Mic-drop.

And my words shift lives.

In fact, in learning just how powerful my words are, I was able to change my entire life—from award-winning Ms. Perfect . . .

Feeling broken,
always searching for me,
running from myself.

(Ah, yeah, that’s a good one, no?)

Often depressed—
overwhelmed,
swimming in overthinking,
over-analyzing every-little-thing,
obsessed with getting it right . . .

(God forbid, failure is me!)

To discovering a place of BEingness, peace, JOY and ease.

And it’s absolutely f-ing delicious.

It is my work, my dharma, and my honor to share this message with you . . . 

Three ways words changed all for me and will for you when you’re ready to go all in. 

ONE: The Most Profound Three Little Words

After reading a very small book that took me less than two hours to consume, I was hooked. 

The premise was simple. 

Three little words changed this author’s life, and those words I knew but forever reserved for others with a slight external shift on the last. 

I love myself.

I was so good at saying I love you, but myself? Hell to the no. And I didn’t realize just how much I didn’t until I began this daily practice. 

I love myself. On repeat in my head, over and over and over again. 

When a thought would come in . . .

I love myself. 

When my mood would dip . . .  

I love myself.

When I brushed my teeth. 

I love myself.

But the point, to keep this short and sweet, is that I love myself began to replace all other thoughts in my head. 

I love myself became the reply to all the negative sh*t rattling around inside me. Those thoughts, stories, beliefs that were robbing me of the very thing I wanted. 

A life I loved
A body I loved
A man I loved
A work I loved

Love. Full stop.

Imagine if you woke up each day and simply felt love in your heart. Not for the one laying beside you–

okay, for them too.

Not just for the fur baby possibly curled up nearby . . .

But you felt it for you, boo.

Deeply, completely, utterly true love of you.

It took time for me to believe I love myself but when I did, it was like a new technicolor life. 

And that is delicious. 

TWO: Start Up Empowered

We’ve all heard it and thought, yeah. But do you embody it? The it in question is gratitude. 

When I learned to start each day empowered with not a single thought of gratitude but a constant stream that touched on as many areas of my life as possible, my inner dialogue changed and my outer world became a delicious reflection of that change. 

I am grateful for (fill in the blank over and over again)
as you take a beat
to breathe,
to smile,
to stretch,
to grant yourself that first (step one)
I love myself moment.

I am grateful for the tropical air I breathe in.
So I do. Deeply.

I am grateful for a new day
to serve, to impact, to play, to feel JOY.
So I focus on all that.

It is a choice to start your day at a run. It is a choice to start your day in JOY. 

I choose to start JOYfully slow. 

To focus on how I want to feel each and every moment of the next 24-hours. 

As I move about and do those things that start my day, I give thanks and sink into thoughts of gratitude for

My feet on the cool tiles
My hair as I run a brush through it
My shapely thighs as I give them a good scrub. 

I no longer point out that which does not appeal to me. But focus on all that works to support me. 

Like my feet on the shower floor, my face upturned to the steaming shower. 

The hot water I get to enJOY in this moment. 

And my thoughts continue as I focus on starting my day with a healthy dose of self-care, self-love and self-empowerment talk deeply rooted in gratitude. 

I am grateful that I am limber enough to make my bed. 

I am grateful for the water that nourishes my body and soul with each sip from the full glass I down before anything else. 

I am filled with gratitude for the stirring sounds of my baby goats, those endearing Maahs, that yes, can get loud . . .

And then I focus instead on being oh-so thankful for noise,
the crowing rooster,
the chicks looking for their cracked corn. 

I sink into a moment taking in the glory of a rising sun over the still ocean waters. 

And I am grateful for what is to come. 

A productive day—
A lazy day of rest. 

I am grateful for the persistence, the habitual way of showing up, as that is what makes my life easily enJOYable. 

What would be possible if you added a touch of gratitude each morning for a week? 

Hmm, I betcha everything.

Which leads me to the last important word-moment of my day, outside of writing 2,500 words to start my morn. 

THREE. Indulge in the 15-Minute But...Box

No, I’m not talking squats nor glutes. I’m talking those buts followed by worry thoughts. 

That silent-night voice in your head
shooting your ideas,
your self-love,
you
down, down, down. 

That nagging habit of saying things like

But we don’t have the money.

But what if it doesn't work out?

But how will I know?

But what’s the next step?

And on and on we can go. 

If you feel me, can I get an amen?! 

What has allowed me to tap into so much JOY is to But-Box my worry with a timer. 

When I started this practice, I gave myself 15-minutes a day. Now I give myself 15-minutes when I notice that but conversations, what if thoughts, the oh-no feelings creep back in to steal my JOYful peace.

I no longer need 15-minutes a day to But-Box worry and that is a delicious thing. 

But if you’re anything like how I used to be, worry was a standard practice, as easy as walking ten feet. 

It was my normal go-to, so of course it took time to let it go. 

But I ziplock that time into a But-Box moment so my new habit of I love myself on constant repeat could begin. 

And drown out all those other disempowering thoughts. 

When I did this with ferocious intention I noticed how much easier gratitude came, how much lighter I felt, how much more energy I suddenly had. 

I realized the profound fact that my worry-wart ways of thinking, speaking, acting were heavy 

weighing me down
keeping me stuck
spinning
failing again and again and again. 

Now when I fail, which I do often, I learn from it. 

I give it no heavy-meaningful weight. But that’s a convo for another post, is it not? 

For now, dive into these three easy to implement ways of showing up for you and your life will radically change in this most delicious new year. 

If you found these words helpful share, them now with another then leave a comment below with your biggest take away. You never know who may be impacted when you do.

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This is the year to live deliciously.
Want more JOY? It’s so there for you.
Dive into a Clarity Call and access it today.

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Post Photo Credit: Andreas Fickl @afafa

This Year, Choose Intention Over Resolution

What if instead of setting a resolution come the end of this week, you set an intention for who you wish to be? 

My editor shared a convo about New Year’s Resolutions between her and her sister recently that made me so proud . . . 

and that I found so profound. 

The sister said: “I’m going to lose weight.”

Autumn, my editor said: “I’m going to be kinder to myself.”

Can I just say: Mic. Drop. Moment.

Consider what it would mean for you to be “kinder to yourself” or to “love yourself more deeply” or to “think only positive thoughts about your body, your life, your finances.”

Hot damn, but your entire life would change. 

When I started to intentionally think ONE thought, “I love myself” and say it on repeat mentally and out loud as needed. 

A hundred
A thousand 

times a day, my life changed. 

I didn’t focus on not eating sugar—as I once would have.

I didn’t focus on the extra weight I’d gained and should lose.

I didn’t focus on the ankle pain that creeps in every now and then from some injury I simply don’t remember. 

I didn’t focus on the thoughts of lack, of fear, of frustration of anything but 

“I love myself.”

That was my way of being “kinder to myself” and it worked. My life flipped on a dime and I started to wake up in love with each day— 

in love with me. 

Resolutions are all well and good when one has the habit in place to support the new way of being, however, what most of us know from experience is that we don’t. 

Have the habit(s) at the ready. 

To work out five days a week when we haven’t scheduled it in . . .

To eat healthy when we don’t yet track our food or know what’s healthy for us specifically . . . 

The path is forever lined with all the good intentions but is that enough to get one past January 19th and into seeing a change for the better?

Consider this:

I am _______ (to myself) in 2022. 

Now fill in the blank.

For Autumn, she naturally said “kinder” and once again I’ll say that’s profound. 

Imagine what all will change in her world when THAT intention is her sole focus. 

I am more loving to myself in 2022.

That works for me. 

I am impacting hundreds of thousands of people globally with my books in 2022. 

That also works for me. 

Now you. Share this blog and YOUR I AM in 2022 statement.

When you do, you begin co-creating your most delicious life. 

And who doesn’t want more of that! 

---

Step Into Your Most Delicious Life
Apply for a Clarity Call today

---

Post Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao @nate_dumlao

Giving Myself the Gift of Self-care: How My Home Finally Got Its Heart

When was the last time you gave yourself a gift? 

Tis' the season, as the saying goes. 

I was reading an article from a client, who’s also a colleague and friend. An awesome dude from Down Under who sent out an email to his list asking that very question. 

It made me press pause for a second as I have gifted others so much. 

From my mentor to my coach, to pulling off my JoLo hoops and handing them over to a lady who loved them so much and asked to “try them on” 

I have always loved to give.

When the voice within says, give those now.
I listen. And do.

When the voice within shouts, this person needs this from you.
I hear it and act.

Yet, I didn’t always. Listen. Act.

To that voice that said, Give that man with the dog, sitting there huddled up and obviously without a home, the last $20 in your wallet. 

When I’d walk by and not listen, the ache I felt was deep, profound. 

Disappointment in self, perhaps. 

And it just hit me how often I have walked past my own self.
My own inner call to
slow down,
take ten,
write that other book,
finish that damn kitchen,
dance more. 

Yet, when it comes to giving myself an important thing,
like a working kitchen,

much like not listening to that call
to hand over my last $20 bill . . .

I haven’t always listened.


And in fact, I haven't for the last three and a half years. 

Instead, I made it a joke. 

Not having a kitchen. Using a skillet, a hotplate and roughing it.

I mean people do that everyday.
I’m thankful, damn it.

Suffering in my laughing silence. 

I made not having a full-kitchen an excuse.
To go to my favorite island restaurants. 

A pathway to not taking the most delicious care of myself. 

Head. Meet. Desk. Hard. 

The heart of the home,
most would say,
is the kitchen. 

Is it not? 

It’s where the family gathers. 

Where food is prepared and nurturing takes place. 

Where intentionality can play with day-to-day tasks
like washing (friggin’) dishes. 

Where loving of self resides

in a physical sense,

with that prepared plate of food . . . 

With time spend in conversation with another

over that cup of tea . . . 

Where the nurturing of self

begins and grows

within. 

Yet, for me, not having a kitchen—

tossing the years gone by without as a joke.

Making the building of goat houses, 

walls and fences 

more important,

than creating a space for myself,

a space that nurtures me— 

now that makes me go hmmm for a hot second. 

Thanks to that wake up call of an email from my Aussie friend. 

And I’m tickled purple to share that I have an almost working kitchen as of Saturday at 4PM island time. 

And by the time I hit publish on these words, the sink should have running water and thankfully I’ll be back to washing dishes out of a lush space and not a bucket filled with tepid water. 

Or too-small half-bath sink where more water ends up on the floor. 

And what perfect timing. . .

to set my end of year up with a space where selfcare is easy. 

Where the nourishment of me is a given, 

not an afterthought, 

never again a maybe, if able. 

How often do we do that? 

Put ourselves last, put our care off for some other day. 

Well, I say no more!

Once that stovetop is installed, and my new magnetic pots received, I’ll be cooking up a storm. 

Not to overindulge but to feed my soul. 

To do a thing I love. 

A thing that fills me with such JOY. . . 

So long denied. 

How silly to deny myself that which makes me smile and feel oh-so good inside.

I betcha you can relate. 

And it please me to no end to already have a line of those who want a home-cooked meal from little old me already forming. 

Starting with my two amazing installers who did the work of creating this beautiful space over a three day period

and left me with a mountain of stone-dust to sweep up. 

Can’t be helped and I tell you what . . . 

I’m sweeping and cleaning and rearranging with such gratitude and JOY that even the dirt is being blessed as it exits my cottage door. 

So let me ask you, what are you giving yourself as we round out this year? 

It’s time to give yourself a gift of NOW 

not wait for January 1st to roll around. 

What one thing can you gift yourself that will change all? 

My kitchen, 

the heart of my little island cottage, 

that’s going to change so much for me. 

In fact, it already has. 

And I love it. 

And I love me. 

Can you say the same? 

Let me know in a comment below. 

---

If that question gives you pause,
if you can't say (yet) those all important words, I love myself!,
it might be time to see yourself more clearly.

A Clarity Call with me is your chance to deep-dive into you.

Apply now and if you dare to before the end-of-year
use the code MOREJOY to receive my gift to you. 

---

One Hour Does Have The Power To
Open Doors & Transform Your Life

---

Photo Credit: freestocks

Comforting Voices And The Things We Do For Love

There is a little girl in my life, an Angel, and at four she feels much. 

I remember being small and having bigger than life feelings. 

It was scary not knowing what to do with them,
not understanding them and
not having a safe space to simply feel them. 

To learn from them. 

Instead, I ended up terrified by my own emotions
and learned to turn the dial on them way, way, way
down. 

Yet, now in watching my little Angel navigate her feelings,
be allowed to feel anything, in any moment,

in not labeling it right or wrong
I am learning so much. 

And she, she’s learning how to be herself—
comfortable in her own skin,
in her own feels
at age four.

Not forty. 

How magical is that? 

During 2021, I wrote a book. (cough)
What will become four books. 

Yep, prolific as all those stuffed feels had to go somewhere
and the pages of journals and diaries was my stomping ground for years. 

Until all those words, powered by unchecked emotions, became books. 

And speaking of books, this is a piece, an essay, that landed on the cutting room floor. 

It won’t be in my new book, Create Your Most Delicious Life, but the message it holds will lead you to just that. 

Living a most delicious life.

---

comforting voices

Shhhh. Don’t cry. It’s okay. It’s not so bad.

Imagine hearing those same lines in a mother’s or father’s comforting tone. 

And I call bullshit,
lovingly . . .

How uncomfortable is it to allow someone to cry their heart out? 

To just be present in someone’s discomfort? 

Especially a child. 

It used to make my skin crawl. I’d run in to save the day with a box of tissues and a smile, a joke, anything to get them to stop sobbing. 

Ah, did you catch that?

It wasn’t about comforting them but making myself feel better.

Getting my anxious skin to stop crawling, to not want to be sucked into their vortex of feelings simply because I didn’t yet know how to have solid boundaries for not my feelings to feel. 

Instead, I was too sensitive.
Instead, I blamed being empathic.
Instead of owning that ick feeling of discomfort and allowing another to suffer and not making it mine— 

a choice

I chose to be responsible for all. 

I chose to take on all their feelings, often times ten, and exhaust myself carrying the weight of everyone’s pain. 

When no one ever asked me to. 

Nope, I chose to suffer and take on another’s suffering as those it was my own burden to bear.  

As a child I developed the ability to stuff what I was feeling way down.

To judge it as wrong—mostly.

And quickly lost track
of what it was I was feeling,
what it was I was snuffing out. 

It became easier to feel for another than to deal with my own knotted emotional baggage. 

Instead, I packed that shit way,
locking it up tight.

I even went so far as to
bury it, all the feelings, in the backyard of me. 

And tossed away the key— 
until recently. 

For me, when I hold my breath, I cannot cry.
I perfected that art as a child.

Becoming very proficient at holding my breath, often. 

Stifling my ability to breathe deeply.
Perfecting shallow.

Because the other thing I learned
during my darker, more unhealthy teen years
is that when you hold your breath,
you kind of cease to exist

for just a beat. 

Ponder that for a beat, if you dare, as I’d ask if you can relate.
If you apologize, minimize, hold your breath
so as not to take up too much space. 

It all begins with learning how to not feel all of the feelings.

The dis-ease and disharmony created in the body that builds and builds until there must be a crescendo moment in time. 

It begins with well-meaning, most often, parents. 

They do what was done to them.

They repeat words uttered to them when they themselves felt too out loud. 

I like to believe that it’s mostly misplaced,
well-intentioned sayings
shared without thought
of how they may do more harm
than good. 

Shh.
It’s okay.
Calm down. 

Instead of allowing one to scream it out.
Get it out. 

Express yourself.

And not make it wrong to do so loud, dramatic, full out
because is that not how we find our way?

To discovering what it is we feel . . .
To not stuff it done,
Not shh it out
Not be told it’s okay when it feels oh-so not. 

To instead be allowed to wallow in all that ugly cry,
snot-infested mess. 

To be able to beat the hell out of a pillow
and not be judged.

To feel the full spectrum of all the delicious emotions
and to learn to name them, claim them, understand them. 

What a gift, the freedom to be utterly, totally allowed to be self-expressive. 

In fact, my Frenchman and I were just talking about this. . .

For him, this is good parenting. . . 
to comfort,
to soothe,
to say shh, it’s okay. 

For him, this is what it means to teach a child what it is to be safe.
To feel safe. 

And it’s how he raised his two.

Yet, for me, I see that it can be a detriment.

For me, it was a detriment.
An, it’s not safe to cry, to express, to be me. 

Interesting, is it not?
How varied two people can be?

For me, as a child, it was
a stuffing down of what bubbled to the surface,
often not put into words. 

So often not understood. . .

Emotions so needing to erupt and spill forth with abandon, but instead became trapped, not safe to sink into naturally. Instead there is a damning up of all those unfelt feels for so many.

A lack of understanding them as they well up. . .
as they begin to bubble to the surface of you,
one day, some day
unchecked. 

Yet, imagine if you, the adult,
allow another man, woman, child
the space,
the grace,
the place
to feel anything
and everything. 

What would be possible if you embraced your own discomfort in the face of their outpouring . . .  

As tears,
as a tantrum,
as we have no other
known-to-us, in that moment,
way to express, be. . . 

as a child
as a too often shh-ed adult. 

Just as a tide is not restrained
by the hug of the ocean . . .

The power of not tamping down the crashing wave
of an emotional outpour from another
man
woman
child
is a gift of empowerment 

To feel,
to express,
to release
for them.

Even as it may make the hugger wildly, wind-tossed uncomfortable.

I say so be it. 

For not feeling those feels in the moment means damming them up for a future moment in time 

When they erupt with volcanic force.
Makes little sense. 

Today, allow yourself to feel safe to be you,
to express what you feel,
to let it out,
however it comes
and learn to name those feels one by one. 

That which we tamper down, dan up, we deal with another day. 

Make today the day it’s okay to feel what you feel. 

---

One Hour Does Have The Power To
Open Doors & Transform Your Life

---

Photo credit: Gabby Orcutt @monroefiles

A venti chai latte vs unlimited JOY

I was in Florida recently,
All masked up
​
Ready for my drop-shock moment
Upon going from 5 square miles
To Miami International crowds
​
Upon crowds
Upon so many
crowds...
​
Nothing fazed me...
Not when on the Turnpike
In the middle of an false-start Indie 500
No trophy in sight.
​
Not the multi-layered precautions,
The temp-gun to forehead at every turn
​
The double masking
upon entering
The Miami Cancer Institute
​
Not a request​
But a given.
​
I took it all in stride and even made time to say hi to a pink cow.
​
[photo below]
​
And considered how I could smuggle her home
As I’ve always wanted one.
​
And then it hit me.
When I entered the local Starbucks.
​
I don’t recall
when last
I was at the place
of my once addiction.
​
Maybe three years now.
And here I was ordering...
​
Giving up my chip​
A one-off moment
Because I so got this thing.​
​
No longer am led by my emotional
Eating
Ways of
Once being me.
​
​But 6.50 USD?
​​
For a Venti Almond Milk Chai Latte seemed
Well, high​
Even to me.
​
And I can afford it
And first class to Italy...
So this isn’t a cheap-is-me
Convo.
​
​No, siree.​
​
I love nice things.
From Tumi luggage…
​We be rolling
with style
​
To my former Audi TT,
​Loved her fancy, red-leather ass
Fast as f- b*tch​
As she all but belted Ludacris

Move B-
Get out my way!
Get out my way!
​
​Even as she purred down
all those
Highways,
Bi-ways.
​
​No, siree.
Cheap be not me. ​
​
To my souped up MacBook Pro
Whose RAM and dual processing speeds
Keep up with my time-warp
Flying fingers
Across backlight
keys.
​
But this 6.50
For a Venti Almond Milk Chai Latte
Seemed just plain high.
​
And I’d left the grass-guy behind
So I couldn’t even pretend
​Hallucinations
My friend.

[only my JOY-Subscribers will get that grass-guy reference]

And it has nothing to do with lighting one up,
As some tend to do
And everything to do with goats.
So consider joining the JOY herd
To read those hilarious tales
​
But I digress.
As only writer’s tend to do.
With flare
Style

And dare I say, a few
Too many words…
A time or two.
​
I shelled out my 6.50 one time in the 12 days and thought
​Will I ever again?
​Taking my first sip-ity-sip.
​
I think not,
For it didn’t fill me
With anything more than sugar,
Way more than I’m now used to
​
And, yes delicious warmth
But just for a bit.
​
​Was it worth it?​
I think not.
​
Not when there are other things for 6.50
That can fill my soul
With JOY.

Like a good book you can’t put down.
​
Granted, I am a word-nerd,
No doubt about it.
​
So a book, to me, a divine delicious treat.
One that lasts,
That says with me,
Quite possibly.
​
I eat words up,
​Ravenously.​
​
And I spit out my own
With my purple pen
With grace
When in flow.
​
With the intention to
Entertain
Inspire
Educate
Even Dictate
Divine JOYful desire.
​
To make one laugh
Out loud
With delight
​
Or shed a tear
No longer holding it all in
So tight.
​
Words are powerful
​Empowering​
​
But that Venti Almond Milk Chai Latte,
enJOYed but once
​Sip after sip ​
As I mentally pondered
​Wow, 7 with tip

And felt later,
With a sugar crash and burn…
That all I invest in should
empower me
leave me feeling
powerful.

Not depleted
Not strung out
​
I literally sell
​word-JOY on a stick ​
that leaves people feeling
​Something.
​
Something more than bloated at the end of their rather long day.
​
So if you’re looking for more than a quick fix,
A hit to numb the pain
​
And want to truly feel your way
​
Then join me
For some word-JOY
And baby goat photos.
​
It’s definitely more costly,
An investment of $1.75 USD more....
But lasts a life-time,
As JOY tends to do...
​
Unlike that one-time
Sugary hit.
​
Personally, I find JOY so much more rewarding
Than a tempt surge of liquid-okay-deliciously
But that wasn't always the case...

So I feel you, friend​
If you are wobbling to and fro
There's no best way to go.
​
Just do you. Be you.
And enJOY this wild ride
Called life.

With me by your side.

A Timeless Quote to Ponder ​
​
​“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh

As a Zen Master, global spiritual leader, poet, peace activist, Nobel Peace Prize Nominee by Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. this native Vietnamese Buddhist monk was a bestselling writer on mindfulness and peace.
​
A fellow word-nerd I oh-so-love.
​
What I get from this quote,
From Hanh’s delicious words, is rather simple.
​
​F*uck it and smile. ​
​
Try it next time something crashes and burns,
An argument begins to stir
You awaken not feeling so great

You find yourself running late.
​
Just smile.
It changes all.
For you.
For another.
​
A smile can make a day.
I dare you to practice

💜

---

Part of the JOY...

It’s rather simple.
​​
Like my words. My vib. What I have to say.
​
Or simply curious about the goats
Which will put a smile on your face
And that has been linked to better heart-health,
Seriously.

Become part of the JOY-herd today for $99/year.

JOIN THE JOY HERD FOR A YEAR

You'll get inside access to insights,
my words, my island paradise,
how I write, make bank and
why the heck I was even at The Miami Cancer Institute in the first place.
​
Plus, so much more I’m busting out of my word-seams to give it to ya.
​
But first, enJOY that pink cow.

---

---

What’s More JOY Worth To You?
Access All My JOYful Words
And Find Your Own Voice

For the detailed soul, click here for more.

Facing My Fears – The Tale Of Lilly Anne

I laid down on the cool tiled floors, thankful for the sweater and jeans covering most of my must-have-warmth body.

I had no idea that doing this one little act would be so incredibly impactful.

How a simple task of facing a "fear" could open my world in unimaginable ways, that even now I strive, no struggle to find the best words to paint this divine share...

As literally, to speak, after this moment, was impossible.

And no, this fear conquered had nothing to do with public speaking but everything to do with my perception of people...

And myself...

Dive into this read with me now to see how one moment, one choice can open a door to so much.

JULY 2019

It was a Monday. Busy. Go figure. But this was pre-pandemic when Corona was still served with a twist and a lime.

Best on a beach...

But while in the heart of Miami, the air-conditioned breeze removed all thoughts of tropical warmth and sandy beaches from my mind.

See, I was doing the thing.
That thing I did not want to do...
I was facing a fear.

And of course I chose the most crowded spot. The one were lines formed as people with devices waited for the glass doors to slide open and the Apple-bells to ring.

I laid down on the cool tiled floors, thankful for the sweater and jeans covering most of my must-have-warmth body.

And spoiler alert... I had a blast!

People asked me what I was doing…

I said, “Looking at things from a new perspective.”

A grandfather get help from his son and daughter to lay beside me so he too could look at things differently.

His name was Jose Felipe and we laid side-by-side for 15 minutes, chatting up a storm. 

His grandkids laid beside us. Quietly listening to us and whispering about the ‘weird’ woman.

I learned about his boat ride from Cuba.
About being sent back.
And coming again on a raft.

Wow.

I talked to a couple who asked me if I was afraid of what people were saying about me, laying on the floor.

I shared that people were judging me if I was upright walking past them or laying here ‘crazy’ on the ground. And it didn’t matter...Let them judge.

He liked it.
She freaked.
And this led to more interesting chats.

I had a lady buy me a coffee. Just because. 

Maybe she thought I was tired...?

Two Apple techs came out to give me a rolled up shirt to put under my head.

They shared, one timid and one with glee, that some customers were recording a video of the cray-cray-floor lady.

Didn’t care.
Sweet.
Fun.

A cute 30-something in a suit gave me chocolate from Godiva. I thought it important to share, I was hitched before helping myself to his chocolate.

He laughed and said, lucky him, and gave me the entire box.

The kids and Jose Felipe dove into the tasty treats with me.

A cop asked what I was doing... I shared. 

Then I asked if he liked what he was doing - patrolling the mall. We had a ten minute chat about his hopes and dreams. He wanted to write crime dramas…hmmm. 

Life-changing. For him. For me.

Laying down in the middle of a crowded mall, in front of that busy-as-heck Apple store, brought up so many STORIES and interpretations...and fears.

And Because I Chose To Do It Anyway,
This Happened…

Connections
Conversations
Sharing
Opening Of Hearts & Minds
Vulnerability
Love

And then, when I thought it couldn’t get any better, as the Apple manager and employees actually gifted me items ….

What?!

Believe me, I know. I was blown away but their words, that was the true gift.

A few brave souls shared how I touched them. That they press-paused in their day to stop and talk about what I was doing, why I was doing it and the IMPACT it made on them and the manager.

First, that I was willing to face the fear of public humiliation, which frankly stumped many of them… and if we’re being honest, it terrifies most people, does it not?

Maybe you can relate.

And second, one sweet girl with ink-black braids knelt beside me and said, “I love how you took time for each person who approached you.”

When I asked her why that made her sad, as she had tears in her eyes, she said, “Most people don’t give me the time of day.”

"What do you mean?” I can still feel my frown and that tug on my heart strings.

“Because I look different.”

She was covered in ink, more than just her jet-black hair and showed me by rolling up her long-sleeves.

I didn’t know what to say, so I said the truth. “Beauty comes from within. Those who don’t take time to see you are simply not worth your time.”

Her hug was one now, all but hug-less for going on eleven months, I remember fondly.

(Amazing the little things I miss. And now recognize as so incredibly important.)

Priceless.

But that’s not where this tale ends.
Although it easily could.
Nope… there’s more.

A spa across the way thought I needed a facial.
Either sun damage or from being on the cold floor… [smile]... so sweet.

It so was… 

And Jose Felipe's granddaughter. She floored me.

She handed me the greatest gift…dug out of her very own pocket. Her favorite charm keychain.

The little girl who just a short time ago had used lady and weird in the same sentence and thought I hadn’t understood.

[wink]

This keychain was not a plastic, throw-away kid-item but an expensive thing from Coach.... And, I cried. Not from receiving a dang keychain but from the express, dare I say love, in her eyes.

I cried because it wasn’t until that moment that I realized I hadn’t asked her name… that I had been so occupied with others, while she sat quietly, patiently, attentively beside me…

Waiting her turn.

Lilly-Anne. 

My heart stopped in that moment. I could have sworn, looking back that the world stopped...for just a beat.

I want you to remember something before I go on with this sharing…

I believe that

Everything is Energy…
We choose our path.
We all chose to be here…

These are my beliefs, opinions, although the first is indeed fact.

That said, Let me take you back to a conversation I had once, long ago.

My fiancé more than ten years back, called me early one morning and said, 

I interrupted with “—You had a dream.”

“YES!”

“Me too.”

Silence.

I managed to get out... “I met our daughter–”

“–her name was—”

“—Lilly.”

“YES!” Chris choked up on the other end of the phone. 

Tears were already streaming down my face as I said, “She had—”

“—Ringlets.”

“And they were—”

“—strawberry blonde. Like yours.”

“Yes.” I was full on ugly crying at this point but it mattered not. I could hear the tears in his voice too. 

Chris, a crazy Brit who liked to call me Twit had three boys, 21, 18 and 7 at the time. He never thought he’d have more. Never imagined he’d have a little girl… but there she was… in both our dreams. On the same evening.

And then he was gone. A helicopter crash just two months later.

No Lilly.
But I always had the shared dream.
And that was beautiful. 

You think this tale ends here but no, there is more.

I met my Frenchman in Feb 2011 and we tied the knot in January, almost one year later. He so wanted to have a child and I was hesitant.

He had two already and we were new, fresh, and I was NOT used to being in a relationship…

Hmm, personal responsibility, I made it HARD.

So we’d dream and chat over morning coffee while I “made” him rub my feet (which he LOVED to do). We decided that our “son” would be Edmond Lee after this grandfather and mine, should we have a boy…

And he was determined, if we had a girl, to name her…. 

Anne-Marie…

And I tacked on Sophie, just because it sounded so cool.

Now, it never happened. My fabulous Frenchman and I decided NOT to have Edmond Lee or Anne-Marie Sophie…

Just as Chris and I did not have Lilly…

And yet here she was - the CULMINATION of those conversations.
The incarnation of Lilly-Anne 

And it rocked me to my core. Literally.

Because I did this work
Because I let go of my fear of being judged... 
Because I was open to possibility... 

….I was given a gift.

I met my daughter(‘s) energy.

And she knew it.
I knew it.
And yes, she had ringlets…

No sh*t.

It's SO wonderful to know SHE became a reality, SHE became someone's reality.

Tears flow freely with such ease and JOY and amazement because....

If I had not laid down out of fear of judgment or some such stupid, meaningless story or interpretation....

AND not received that beautiful message!

What a missed opportunity that would have been...

What Are You MISSING
By Staying Trapped In Your
Fear, Interpretations, Stories, Bullshit?

This moment, this exercise showed me so much more than the physical reality we all think is real, is all there is.

It’s nothing. There is so much more.

When I get out of my way…

The UNIVERSE shows me what’s possible.

For me.
And it will
For you.

Shows me the true IMPACT of my actions, my words, my stories... my interpretations.

And the line I go back to daily…
100% Possible.
100% of the time.

And I ask myself constantly –
What’s possible for me in this moment?
What can I learn from this?
How can I grow?

And it serves me, so if that serves you, steal it.
Because literally anything is possible. 

Even a Thanksgiving phone call last year...
Where I bawled afterward like a little baby.

---

It was Lilly-Anne calling to tell me she’s so thankful to have me in her life and how she talks to me when she’s sleeping and knows I have her keychain with me always.

That’s how she finds me… she shared.

OMG!

She then lowered her voice to a whisper and told me a “secret”

And this broke me – in a blessed way I’ll never forget.

She said…You were my first-choice mama but you weren’t ready for me.

OH.
MY.
GOD.

And she was right.
So
Beautifully
Right.

I Share This Tale
So You See There Is So Much More Possible.

And heck, if you’re shedding a tear, know that I am still crying as I type this out.

But it’s tears of possibility.
It’s tears of amazement.

Because today, Lilly-Anne called me again… to wish her other-Mama Happy Gratitude Day.

When will you ready to get out of your way,
Let go of the sh*t stories and step into all that you are?

It’s time…is it not?

Final Update

And remember that cop who spoke to me about those crime dramas he wanted to write. Well, a few months later I had a call with him, as of course I gave him my number while laying on that too-cold-tile floor outside of the Apple store.

I coached him on 3 pointers to start way back in 2019… and he took it all to heart.

He began writing in his spare time and took to writing me a monthly email update.

He told me he’s saving up money to coach with me and simply wanted to keep me in his accountability loop.

He also asked me, pretty forcefully I might add, to start a group program in the New Year so he can do it sooner rather than later.

And guess what?

That cop, he booked that coaching session he said he wanted.

We meet next week and he promises to bring his completed rough draft to the table. Damn, son! Gotta love that.

Like I shared early.

100% is possible. 100% of the time.

Video Share: What Do You See..?

When things happen in 3s, I pay close attention.

If that's a bit too woo-woo for you, you probably need to stop reading now, because this JOY-train is heading down a path more and more aligned with that side of things... of me.

My love of 3s started with beverages. Noticing them that is. On my desk, you'll rarely find less than three. Coffee, water, green tea. Even if the coffee mug is empty, as I'm not a chain-drinker, it remains until something else is ready to slide into it's third place position.

Judge away or see how numbers work in your world for a moment.

See numbers are the secret, or not so secret language of the universe. All is math.

And to think I once hated math.
Then taught math.
Ah, the irony.

If you aren't aware, I'm a coach. (I was a teacher and well, always will be, but let’s stick with my coaching hat for a moment.)

Have been coaching creatives for (gasp) two decades.

Yep, I'm finally owning my sh*t and speaking up.

Pardon my bluntness, but clearing away the cobwebs I've been hiding behind for most of my life has been a messy, sometimes sticky job…

One of unpacking stories and interpretations and frankly, my very own brand of bullsh*t.

We've all been there, right? Walked through that spider web and gotten the heebie-jeebies... [insert full-body shiver]

Happens to me all the time.

And now I'm paying more attention.

I'm starting to find spiders increasingly fascinating... eight legs, eight eyes, figure-eight body, hello, infinity... not to mention the symmetricalness of those webs...

Did I mention the importance of all is numbers..?

While this JOYnote is not about creepy-crawlies or a math-riddle that leaves you stumped as to why anyone in their right mind would seriously want to know at what time, what speed and where in the world said trains meet...

[Head meet desk over math-worksheet-hell for all parents in all the cities, states, countries around all-the-world]

This message is about an apple.

Yep. Not expecting that one now were ya?

See, I mentioned I've been coaching peeps for 20 some years and this week apples came up three times with three amazing woman, during three separate conversations.

So I decided to write about it for you, today.

[rubbing hands together in delight]

Here's what I asked each of these beauties.

What do you see when you look at an apple?

The answers were delicious in their glossy surface-level at first.

Red. Fruit. Food. Shiny. Snack.

Each answer was perfection. So I asked a follow up question.

What do you see on the inside of the apple?

An amazing athlete who's also a closet songstress said, nutrients.

Brilliant.

My food blogging client, who's writing romance novels and killing-it said, juicy goodness.

Of course! [Insert giggle]

A new to me client, pondering her second book, reflected for a beat and asked, "Is it organic?"

My response. "It can be if you say it is."

She gave a curt nod then said firmly, lunch.

Al-right-y then.

Then I asked each one, Do you know what I see?

Each lady, separately of course as this was not group coaching, but more on that to come in 2021, nodded yes and leaned forward...

[pst, writer in you, this is power of story I'm modeling if you didn't yet catch it]

"I see possibility."

Spoiler alert... my words are in video form today. Press play as I share dive into my answer of just what I see when I look at an apple.

Then be sure to leave a comment below with your biggest take-away.

---

Photo Credit: Константин Маманович @anonsmi

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What If You Are Enough? (How To Flip The Voice Within That Says You Aren’t Enough)

These words are REPOSTED here and are originally published on Elephant Journal — November 18, 2020 — as the Editor’s Pick!

What if I’m not Good Enough?—
How to Overcome this Painful Mantra from our Childhood.

If you love this read or what to spread this message, click here to go read this article on that site now. They receive more than 10 million unique readers each and every month… and YOUR read, heart, share and comment could impact who else reads my words.

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WHAT IF I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
How to Overcome this Painful Mantra from our Childhood.

So often I hear individuals, my readers, those who become my amazing clients ask, What if I’m not good enough?

It could be in a conversation about starting a business, going on a date, leaving the job they’ve had for a few decades to do something new that lights them up… 

The what doesn’t matter… 

What does matter is this common thread, theme, way of thinking about ourselves, naturally, that is literally the true pandemic of our time. 

What if I am not enough?

Imagine if your children, grandchildren, the child down the street never-ever asked that question of his or herself. 

Because this is not a gender specific question, but one that penetrates the lives of all colors, all creeds, all religious, all social circles, all socio-economic demographics and spreads like a virus internally faster than 5G WiFi. 

What if I’m not good enough?

Take a beat and get quiet with your fabulous self. 

Has this been a thought in your mind? 

A repetitive belief question that demands your attention stronger than a siren’s call on a rocky shore?

For most, that is a yes and it’s the one thing in life that keeps them from their dreams. 

And for some, this one repetitive thought keeps them from even dreaming. Period. Because why bother?!

Imagine if it didn’t have to be this way… because it doesn’t but before we chat on that, let’s dive into what this is costing you if you can relate to that little whisper inside…

What if I’m not enough?

What specifically do you not dream up, start, do in your life because this question plays on repeat in your head? 

If you’re like so many you start something, a new project, passion, job or maybe even a new relationship with excitement. 

With so much JOY that you all but skip as you move toward it. 

And then something shifts. 

It could be triggered by a sideways look, a comment tossed out by someone who matters not or a lot and suddenly your skipping is tripped up by the sinking pit in your gut. 

What if I’m not good enough?

Now when you glance around, 
sun still shining bright, 
You feel the eyes of others
Everywhere.

Eyes that could be 
judging, 
critiquing, 
criticizing... 

If you’re like so many, you become paralyzed by fear… 
And those mudslide thoughts begin...

Not good enough.
What if I fail?
What will they think?

You may even wonder if that random guy reading the newspaper at a local cafe, the older man you pass by everyday, is judging you as you hurry on, shoulders hunched, head down…  

Just that one thought of What if I’m not good enough? can send off a chain reaction that yanks you back...

Halts your skip
Tanks your mood
Allows you to sabotage any success you were about to enjoy.

When you allow that thought —

What if I’m not good enough? 

— to take up residence in your mind, it travels the superhighway of you to penetrate each cell of your body and doesn’t just have a devastating effect on your mood, your actions today… 

But compounds over time… as perhaps you already feel and know intimately. 

For so many What if I’m not good enough? started as a mantra in childhood and has been a repetitive pattern that allowed the go-cart of life to become a start-stop madness that’s kept you from the very things you said you wanted. 

Now is the time to say enough! 
To stop this insanity
To park that go-cart of you in the Kiddie Lane of your past 
And build a new ship forward. 

Imagine what would be possible if you pushed aside that thought What if I’m not good enough? as easily as windshield wipers cleared away torrential rain. 

What would be possible if you could see your path cleared, brilliantly, with the snap of your fingers so you could continue to skip down your day of excitement?

To dream big…
To live with JOY…
To see the stares of others and no longer care what’s behind it. 

Imagine being so free to be you that the thought
What if I’m not enough?
Never again took shape in you.
Never again was whispered by that voice within you.
Never was passed to your child, grandchild, neighbor’s child again.

What would be possible if you lived every single day knowing this one fact? 

I am enough. 

Read that again as it’s delicious. 

And when you’re ready for that way to make this possibility yours, all you have to do is flip the switch of you.

One step.
So simple we miss it.
We desperately want to complicate it.
To make it hard. 

Don’t. 

When you hear that thought What if I’m not enough? Or What if I’m not good enough? Flip it. 

What if you are? 

Your mind shouts (or whispers) What If I’m not enough? And your new answer, yep, start answering it with a thought or a whisper of your own so it can become your new mantra… 

What if I am?

And feel how that makes you feel… try it now. Close your eyes, take in a breath and whisper those words… What if I am enough?

Perhaps you feel nothing in this moment. 
Perhaps an internal brightening… a smile from within.

Both are perfect. Stay with it.
What if I am enough? 

Or make it even more specific…

What if I am good enough?

That is all you say on the daily, hourly… every minute. 

As that voice flows in, What if I’m not enough? relax and flow out with What if I am enough?

When you do this as religiously as brushing your teeth, the very ground under you will shift, your life will change and more JOY, possibilities and abundance will be yours.

Skipping through your day with a mile-wide JOYFul smile will be your new-constant norm… 

And who doesn’t want that?

If you know you have nothing to lose and so much to gain, put this into practice today. It’s literally life-changing when you do but you’re smart... so I’ll let you figure out for yourself just how powerful this one flip it with JOY tool is. 

If this resonated, share this message with another you feel it could benefit because we could all use more JOY in our lives.

---

What’s More JOY Worth To You?

For Less Than 191 Pennies A Week
Access All My JOYful Words

For the detailed soul, click here for more.

---

Photo Credit: Felicia Buitenwerf @iamfelicia

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The Coloring Lines Of You

When you invest in more JOY...
you receive rewards

Not points or miles
to go somewhere...
someday.

Nope, I'm talking rewards like abundance in all areas of your life...

From wealth to health to relationships to the impact you make
and the mark you leave in this world.

Because the secret sauce of life lies in these three utterly simple words

Abundance Follows JOY

Mmm, delish, divine, and so insanely simply
you may be wanting to devour me with questions like

"But how?" or "What are the steps?" or a simple "Uh?"

And it's okay, Fabulous.

I was once there
looking to color between the lines
and now realize
when I allowed the lines to fall away
all shifted...

Allow that to sink in for a beat…

Those lines are the stories you’ve been told,
The lies you believe,
Because why wouldn’t you.

Those lines
are the you
you created to
people please
fit in
feel like you were enough
be heard
be seen
be understood.

Those lines you...
all live within
Until they don’t...
are a self-imposed trap.

The ways we
hide
tone it down
be what everyone else wants us to be.

It’s how we
Fit in
Find acceptance
Shrink
Become less than

More often than not.

Those lines leave us feeling
Chafed,
Raw,
Out of sorts

Until one day we bust free
With explosive force
And no path of understanding
All the muddled chaos
within.

Or retreat
Misunderstood
Yet again...

Going deeper and deeper
within
Yet another set of
Stories
Lines.
Beliefs
Lines.
Lies
Lines.

Some hide their light
Between those self-drawn lines.

Hunkering down
Down
Down.

Others flit to and fro,
Believing
once again
that a different type of line
Will be the answer
They seek.

From a protective circle
Creating the smallest of spaces
To hibernate

And wait.

To the child-like dance of a crayon
across a page
Already mapped out
A path
To follow
To play within
To work from

Yet ignored once again
To become
A maze of lines upon lies
a trap
Next to Impossible
to unwind.

Those lines are the rules and regulations,
The hierarchy of life
Of family
Of religion (perhaps)
Of being a part of
Something
Anything.

Pretty please,
Accept me.

A need
A desire
A right,
Damn it
To belong.

Even when it no longer serves you.

The you
dying
to break free.

The you
struggling
to breathe.

The you
Crying silently
Is there not more?
To me?
To life?
Than this?

I hear you.
I feel you.
I know you.
I see you.
I was once you.
And I can simply share this.
Three letters.
One word.

It may leave you cursing me.
It may leave you wanting to hug me tight.
It may be your time to hear
Or that may come in a fortnight.

J.O.Y.

You heard me right.
JOY is the answer
You seek.

Not another step by step
Color between my lines

Not another rule, story, lie
Of how to be you…

You already know how to be you…

So flip that pencil
Put that eraser to work
And start with one line,
The one story,
Belief,
Lie
You’ve been told
You’ve told yourself
And get your groove on.

Not with anger.
Not with fear.

Feel those
Don’t ignore
Negate
Disrespect
The feels.

Feel them flow in...
And allow them to float away.

Gently,
With ease.

Blown off the page of you
Like eraser dust
And edges of a line
now dulled
To be no more.

A line that
Served you
Protected you
Honored you
And yes, trapped you
Too.

Right where you needed to be
Until you were ready to see
the light.

Your light.

Erase with JOY
With ease
With delight
And all will unfold
Just as intended.

No right
No wrong
Just pure JOY.

Feel it..
A tingle
A chill
Erase some more
And allow it to build.

This is the way
Forward…

No more lines.

Just an ability to receive
More JOY
As you listen to the knowing within
That will tell you exactly what
Line
Lie
Story
Belief
Thought
Way of being
your meant to let go of
Next.

No need to ask.
No need to ponder.
No need to wonder.

Just be
Present
In JOY
In knowing
The need for more lines
Is now behind

And a blank slate of you
Now awaits.

Hmm, what will you
JOYfully
Create?

💜

Leave a comment and let me know.

---

What’s More JOY Worth To You?

For Less Than 191 Pennies A Week
Access All My JOYful Words

For the detailed soul, click here for more.

---

Ah, Writer’s Block, Not A Writer? I Betcha You Can Relate

There’s this thing called writer’s block. 

It’s that blank page, blank screen and a blinking cursor, taunting you, demanding you say something divine. Daring you to erupt greatness on the bare canvas of —

—What the f- am I even writing? 

It’s the thought that spins and takes over until all other words and coherence leave the being of you and all that remains is a puddle of —

—oh, sh*t!

And that’s when my phone rings, my email chimes, alarms go off. 

See I’m the writer who gets called in to save the proverbial word-day. I’m the one who steps in when a once-prolific writer crashes and starts a slow (or fast) burn. 

Perhaps due to the pressure of a deadline, meeting expectations on a follow-up book, or simply drawing a blank. 

When this happens, I put on my cape and transform into The Word Doctress. 

And I rise to the call with purple pen in hand like my chosen sword because I so get Writer’s Block but on a different level. 

Mine was the hiccup of Life Block. 

The what the f- am I even doing here? moments. That’s what I call Life Block.

Maybe you’ve experienced it.
Swam in its depths,
spun in it’s fast-cycle
and felt like you’ve all but disappeared into the quicksand of endless thoughts,
Could-have, would-have, should-haves
From the pressure the unknown exudes. 

It’s that thing that has you questioning in the dead of night... and the stark light of day...

Why am I here?
What is my purpose? 
Is there a reason for all this? 

Just like the writer asks...

What does my book even mean?
Why am I even writing it?
Who’s gonna read it?
What if it’s not as good as..?

As The Word Doctress, I step in and literally start waving my magic, purple ink like fairy dust, cut through the crap that is the blocked-writer’s-mind, and get to the root of their sh*t. 

And no, I don’t dress up in a cute-ass-white-lab-coat with lace garter belt and silk unmentionables underneath, but if it floats your boat to think about…who am I to stop your imagination. 

Because honestly, that’s all writing is... 
That’s all life is…
Imagination.

It’s taking words and creating a feeling.
It’s imagining something and then translating it onto the page for another to absorb -- or ignore. 

And being perfectly down with either-or. 

That’s how I see life. 

Some people will love what you do and some won’t.

When I step in to help out a fellow Word Wizard, the thing we end up working on is not their plot, their character and dialogue or their non-fiction topic. 

Nope, it’s much more important, vulnerable and basic. 

We talk life. 
Why they’re in their head. 
What’s got them scared and shaking in their proverbial boots?

Because frankly, what I’ve found is that Writer’s Block is really another version of Life Block.

So my role in that moment is not to save the day with my own words, but allow them to save themselves. 

I’m all but spitting out my cup-o-joe as I sit here overlooking the sea, just now realizing that I’ve been a Writing Coach to the Writers. 

Funny how we don’t see what’s so clearly in front of us.
Much like what happens for a writer at a sudden loss for words. 

The fact is I have been a coach to some very amazing writers who’ve stumbled on their word-path and simply needed a helping hand. 

We all need that at some point, do we not? 

I sure did — with my life block. 

So I get it. I feel into it. And I am able to shed light where needed, hold up a delicate mirror where helpful, and offer just the right key in the best moment to fit that sticky-lock that’s shut down one’s creative flow. 

Plus, I sprinkle a dash of JOY back into their writer-life because frankly, everyone needs more JOY.

Because, real writers, we write to write. Period. Full stop. 

We don’t write to be read. 
We don’t write for the numbers. 
We don’t even write for the impact our words may or may not have. 

No, we write because we can’t f-ing help it. 
Like for real. 

Me. Deserted island. Only three things. Endless supply of paper, ink and a waterproof room to house my words. Sorry, chocolate. 

Ooops, wonder if I can I bring the Fabulous Frenchman with his three can’t live without items as a bonus?

When a writer writes they get lost in the words, the characters and the story they are telling. And it matters not if it’s fiction or non. 

When a writer is in flow, time stands still and flies by all in the same moment. 
That’s being in the zone.

A place where there is no writer’s block nor life block. 

Because the words simply are. 

One simply allows. 

And from that place there is this delicious peace. 

This untapped joy.  

This delight is what’s possible. 

And when a writer is blocked. 

Well, they are no longer writing from that place that caused them to write in the first place. They have moved from their soul, their heart, their essence and being the conduit...into their head. 

To outcomes.
To profit.
To numbers.
To comparison.
To worry.
To judgment.
To fear.
To doubt.

And that writer, that person, no longer trusts the only thing that matters. 

Themselves. 

See when you’re in your head, you can’t imagine fully.

When you’re in your head, you can’t tap into that inner guidance we all have as a birthright. 

And writing, like life, is a gift. 

Writing is a gift… if you’re a writer, you can probably relate.

And life, this life, your life … if you’re not a writer but can relate, is very much a gift. 

It’s profound, precious and should be treasured, loved and cared for, but so often we take it for granted, brushing off the wins like crumbs off our lap from that fifth cookie stuffed in one’s mouth without full awareness. 

Been there done that. What about you? 

So, I’m picking up my mug-o-green-tea, curling up in my comfy spot because it’s time for you to now tell me all about you. 

Who are you? 

The writer stuck in Writer’s Block hell 

Maybe the writer who’s itching to start filling that blank screen but simply doesn’t know how, a block all it’s own!

Or a delicate soul so hearing my words - Life Block - resonate within your core. 

It’s time to raise your hand high and with a wave or delicately with the pose of a queen, and speak the language of you. 

What if your life.. was delicious.?

Gosh, makes me smile wide, what about you..? 

---

Photo Credit: Velizar Ivanov @lycan

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One Hour Does Have The Power To
Open Doors & Transform Your Life

When The Words Flow... A Dash Of JOY

I created something new. Yep, seriously prolific here. In between books, letters to written for a few fab clients this week and a My Words Your Day® Intensive Experience, I still find the juice to create.

It’s literally in my blood. And I’d like to share it with you.

Like most words, this idea and what followed simply flowed. So, instead of questioning, overthinking, analyzing “OMG, another idea!” I gave myself the moment to be free.

I sat back, cracked my knuckles (not really) and let the words rip!

And boy did they ever…

Which is perhaps why I so love to write.

I don’t judge my words.
I don’t worry about my words.
I don’t question if my words are good enough.
I don’t really care what happens with my words after I’m done…
I realize they are a gift.

A gift I hand off to the reader, my editor, my agent, a client and how they are received next, well, that’s none of my business.

Hmm, detachment is a beautiful thing when you get it.

And thankfully, with words, I’ve been blessed to realize I am but the conduit.

So I allow.

And this, poem and a special something-something, is one of the things that came to me just a few short days ago and now has taken on a life of its own. More on that life-of-it’s-own to come!

It’s a poem, short and sweet with a delicate punch which is how I tend to coach my clients.

I say it like it is, no matter what the forum.

As you read A Poem — A Dash Of JOY, I encourage you to consider that thing you do that’s simply natural, easy, and aligned.

For me it’s words.
For me it’s teaching and coaching too.
But that came after doing and doing and more doing.

Competence breeds confidence.
Consistency breeds mastery.

So look to those things or that one thing you can do without question.

For me, it’s writing.
The words, those are a gift.

I can’t even fully claim them as mine for they simply flow through me.

And that’s why I’ve always been able to detach from the outcome. The thinking and worrying over how they will affect you and effect you, the reader.

So lean in now.

Picture that one thing you do that’s simply natural, easy, and aligned.

If you know it and can all but taste it — good!
Lean in and do more of it…

Don’t have it yet..? No worries. It’s there for you.
Allow it to come and it will when you let go of wanting to know now.

Seriously…
When we allow, all works.
When aligned, life is sweet.

Lean into what’s easy. I am and all is blooming. It’s actually pretty magical.

So that poem I mentioned is below is a sharing of what came from allowing this idea to be…

---

A Poem —
A Dash Of JOY

A Dash of this

A Dash of that

A Splash of

Hmmm,

Delicious Delight

A Dash Of Joy

When you

Rise Or Reside

Give it

A Toss

Lean in

Just right.

Remember,

Shaken Not Stirred

Guaranteed a

Fabulous

Good-Night.

A Dash Of Joy

A laugh or two

Give it a go.

It might just be good for you.

My name is Jill

Or should I say JOY

For it bubbles from within

And spills out through my purple pen.

Hear me word-roar…

This is where we meet

Clandestine

Entwined

The Dash In Between

So perfectly designed.

And dare I say…

divine.

Storyteller am I

So start at the one

Unless you desire

Mind-warping fun.

Matters not to me

Paint outside my lines.

I am but the sharer of the tale

You the receiver of all I unveil.

Welcome to

A Dash Of Joy

There's More JOY To Be Found

So, I’m doing something crazy.

I’m posting videos
Of me
On Instagram.

For me that’s jump-out-of-a-plane crazy.

---

Okay, have to pause here and say

Dang, and I thought it was weird to put myself out there. To see my face and that’s interesting, is it not?

I live with my face each day and yet putting it out there, it’s super uncomfortable for this once hider. Maybe you can relate.

But back to my grid-filled-face… if you’re interested, do come press over on Instagram or simply keep reading and press play on Video 1 below.

Back to the idea of videos on IG being a bit cray-cray…

Not due to fear
Or even being judged so much.
Not any more, anyway…

But simply putting myself
And who I am out there.

Being vulnerable.
Exposed.

It’s like that dream so many of us have…
Walking naked onto the high school stage of your life
A nightmare you just can’t wake up from.
Can you relate?

Remind me to share that little ditty with you one day.
Not a high school moment for me
But exposed, for real, none the less…

Sharing for me was more of a who am I to do that, say that, be that?

Instead of asking the better question of Who Am I Not To?!

For it I don’t, someone else will…

And will they be as JOYful, impactful, in it to serve, as I am…

Who knows. Who cares.

All I know now is that
Who Am I Not To?!
is a much better Q
to ask myself
when I don’t want to lean
into the uncomfortable.

Try it and see how it feels…

Because my answer to that Q is a Hail-Mary Duh.
It’s an end-all to the excuses
And a b-all in with living this life full out.

Full Stop.

And I’ve retired the old stories of struggle I once tight-fisted.

And damn it feels good.

It’s like I recently said to a coaching client of mine, when he (finally) saw just how stuck he was in his old patterns, those he’d previously identified but fallen back into repeating.

“Are you tired yet of your old-ass-ways or not?”

When you can answer that with a Hell, yeah!
something shifts within
and a new you is left to bloom.

So, right now, I’m blooming.

And I’m sharing an easy way to access all the current videos, if you so desire to press play and discover more about JOY… and well, me.

I promise you’ll laugh, giggle and perhaps even snort while also taking away a nugget of wisdom or two.

Press Play On Day 1 of This Journey Into JOY now…
Then come join me on Instagram today to get immediate access to all.

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I’m looking to up my IG number to 500 this month.

Might not sound like much in this day and age, and in the grand scheme of things it’s not… However, considering I was just at ZERO, ZILCH, ZIP… it’s celebration worthy.

And it’s my now-goal which you can help me achieve.

Join me on this amazing JOYful Journey!

Share, like and help me spread more JOY… you you dare.

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What’s More JOY Worth To You?

For Less Than 191 Pennies A Week
Access All My JOYful Words

For the detailed soul, click here for more.

The Power Of One Little Word Can Change Your Life

This title is actually a bit deceiving, so forgive me for roping you in. But this message is SO important that when you get it your life will change. And your vocabulary too.

See I want to share with you one three letter word that is incredibly disempowering.

So much so, that it may be the very thing keeping you stuck, trapped, spinning, wondering why the heck you can’t seem to get anything done, right or be understood.

I won’t give away the word, for that, you must press play, but here’s what I know.

In four minutes, all will shift for you.

Just four minutes.

If you dare, press play now. Then leave a comment below with your ah-ha moment.

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There’s no denying the power of words after that demonstration, is there?

If you agree, share a comment below on just how this message impacted you, give this post a heart and share it with one person today. Isn’t this message worth passing to someone you care about today..?

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One Hour Does Have The Power To
Open Doors & Transform Your Life

Who Am I? The Answer.

If you missed part one, The Inspiration, behind my answer, then you may wish to revisit that here before diving in.

Below is me in a riff moment.
A moment of self-reflection where I allowed the answer to come to the subtle and all important Question.

Who Am I?

See if you can’t answer those three little words without
wanting to please another,
without wanting to be right,
get it right,
not offend
not be judged…

Do you even know yourself at all?

Short answer is hell-to-the-no..

Let go of all the bullsh*t and baggage. It’s heavy and you’ve been strapped to it long enough.

Spend a moment today, after you read this, and ask yourself that those three-very-loaded words.

Who Am I?

When you do,
from absolute truth,
you can accomplish so much.

Dive in with me as I share vulnerably The Answer to this question.

I can because, friend, I do not give two-sh*ts if you love it, hate it, like me, hate me or feel offended by my words.

We each have free will and yours involves joining me on this path or clicking away.

How much balls would it take for you to publicly say the same?

When you do, you attract those who are meant for you.

You. The you still here, dying to read my answer to the all important question that makes life easy, all possible and everything that much more delicious.

Who Am I? The Answer.

For me.

I am a sensitive soul who is youthful yet tapped into something so much older, wiser, all-knowing than I. Don’t ask me to explain it, for I can not. And I no longer try nor do I question this knowing of…more.

I am a JOYful being who stands lovingly planted in her own word-driven spotlight, not from a place of ego… From a place of responsibility, dedication, determination, and dharma. 

I am a passionate, fiercely-loyal, deliciously-generous soul who knows that giving to others is life-sustaining on a level most can not fathom. 

I am an observer, a storyteller, a word-wizard who allows the stories that need to be told, the messages that need to be heard, to flow through me. 

I am the conduit for what comes pouring onto the paper and ends up on bookshelves, both digital and wooden, around the world.

I am often scared shitless, but pull up my big-girl panties and I do the thing anyway. For when I do, I am being committed, self-integral, brave, bold, powerful, and true to myself. 

I am learning that less is more and to keep the drama that comes with this life out of my inner circle. I am welcoming of all and yet uphold boundaries that honor what’s most precious to me. 

I don’t give two-sh*ts about what others think and have stepped into a more daring way of being as I get to know and love myself unconditionally.

I strive to never judge, criticize or cast my beliefs on others, and honor each person on his or her own journey. 

I forgive more easily than ever and that fills my cup. 

I live from a place of everything is energy and all is 100% possible, 100% of the time. 

I am forever learning but no longer seeking. I know that the answers come in the space between. 

I am at peace with who I am in the world, as I know I am part of The All and uniquely me. 

I have a purpose greater than myself and lean into that when called, even when I can not define, understand or fathom it. 

I live from a space of not needing to know all the answers, ask all the questions or think my way through all-the-things. 

I know that “how” is none of my business and instead sink into allow-ing. 

I value silence and solitude as much as time spent with those I love. I protect both at all costs. 

I cherish those friendships that can be picked up as though no time has passed and anchor myself in only relationships that build and fulfill me. 

I compare myself with who I was yesterday, never copycat another, and work hard simply at knowing myself better than I did.

I show up daily knowing I am BEing the best version of myself in each moment. 

I practice the art of loving myself unconditionally every second and daringly commit to trying new things, stepping outside the box of my own comfort and am honored to show others the same path… usually through my words.  

I am a provider of options, paths and possibilities as a natural-born teacher, but do not drag anyone by the ear nor hair. I allow each his or her own journey, or not. And am okay with their choice. 

I take nothing personally and this is the constant work of being fully, deeply aligned, at peace, JOYful me. 

I am comfortable in my own skin and knowing that my growth, my transformation, my evolution, me is a work in progress. One that never ends. 

I am flirtatious, smile often and have a quick wit. I enjoy engaging with those who can keep up, know themselves and have something of value to say.

I am supported in all areas of my life and need not see all the steps laid out before me to trust and know I am good. 

I am an edifier, an encourager, an educator. My greatest desire and reward is for all paths I cross to be left feeling better than before I entered their life. 

I live from a place of “people remember how you make them feel” and strive to honor each person on his or her journey, to coach only when hired, and to allow others to rest where they are...even if that involves them marinating in their own suffering. 

I am a deep feeler yet know now that being a true empath does not involve sinking into another’s misery but allowing and honoring them to move through it themselves. 

I take nothing personally and yet will defend myself, those I love and what I know to be best for me.

I am a lover of creatures, big and small, and believe they share so much wisdom when we open our eyes and remove the veil. 

I bond with children instantly, don’t ask me why, and love to dance, sing and act a bit crazy.
I can carry a tune, sometimes. 

I cook without measuring a damn thing, because sometimes rules, like grammar, are meant to be broken. 

I am a rebel in my own sweet-as-pie way and can be a bossy-bad-ass bitch when needed yet am motivated from a place of utter love. 

I know that laughter is medicine for the soul and movement, medicine for body, so I engage in both daily. 

As the thinker of my thoughts, I choose carefully each and every thought I focus on and work diligently to harbor only those thoughts that serve me, better me, and honor my growth. 

I go after what I desire in this life with passion, with purpose, with precision and I listen to my inner knowing as it gets me to exactly where I am meant to be. 

I am so very comfortable in my own skin and can honestly say “I love myself”...

Can you?

Let me know in a comment below.
And if you feel daring, grab a journal or open a Google Doc and answer that question for yourself.
Who Am I?

This is helpful in so many more ways than just getting to know yourself.
This is the magic ingredient to your life, your business, your success.

What if all your messaging,
how you communicated…
everything that is you,
embodies how you answer this question?

Give that a ponder as there’s much to receive here if you are open…

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Photo Credit: Alexandru Zdrobău @alexandruz

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Who Am I? The Inspiration.

2020 has been a year for the record books, has it not?
In more ways than one…

And for me, this year,
along with all the sh*t,
has been an amazing year
of meeting truly rockstar women.

Women who embody a way of being that was so unfamiliar to me,
yet so very magically-right.

Not expecting that…now were you?

But do we need more talk of pandemics and politics when in reality our relationships and how we make each other feel each and every moment is what truly matters.

Sink into that for a moment.

I live by this one quote of the amazing poet and woman, Maya Angelou, who once said

”I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

If that’s not some foot-stomping truth to you, then stop reading now as you won’t like what comes next.

See for me women, in general, never left me feeling real good about myself.

I have an old story around woman.

A story that involves jealous, back-stabbing b*tchiness.

A catty-competitive streak that simply turned me off to making a go at deep-sharing and friendships with the same sex.

I saw this young in life,
in my own family dynamic.
And I never understood it.
Never liked how it made me feel.

I always observed the behavior of these women,
adults to my childish innocence,
like a mad-scientist observes a lab-rat
through thin, steel bars.

To say this experiment — I mean, experience —
with the majority of woman I met
early on in my life
left me feeling hollow,
different…

A spectator in a game I simply refused to play,
even if I’d known how,
would be a gross understatement.

So I backed away, secretly harboring a desire to unearth what I knew was missing.

Real women,
unafraid of each other’s successes,
eager to celebrate one another.

That couldn’t be just a myth in my magically-creative mind, could it?

Yet, this year has introduced me to a new breed of woman.
And proved that magic does exist.

A flock of sisters,
of goddesses,
of powerful female beings
who need not stand on the shoulders of another to know who they are.

Who need not smile — forward-facing
while back-stabbing you,
with a dip and a twist,
the moment your profile is in sight.

A cluster of woman
who support, uplift and desire nothing
but the other’s greatness.

To say it’s been rewarding…
would be an understatement.

To say I wasn’t cautious — at first,
would be a lie.

To say I don’t still blink in awe
at the bonds developing,
the trust felt,
would be a giggle.
A gas.

To say I am not loving
this new-found family,
who only want each other to shine,
would be a crime.

So, without further wordiness on my part, I want to share this.

When you meet a woman
who knows herself.

Her worth
Her value
As a human being.

Not based on her doing-ness
but simply who she is being at her core.
It’s a glorious thing.

When you meet a woman not swayed by society’s standards and the norms that typically box both sexes in, something magical unfolds.

An opening for you to embrace the same knowing within you.
At least that’s what took place for me.

An awakening to see that it’s so not about people pleasing all,
but standing firm in the pleasing of yourself.

And damn if that ain’t hot.

To shed the should haves, would haves, could haves.
To let go of who others want you to be, expect you to be…
Who you’ve trained them you will be…
And to step fully into the skin of you.

A skin that may feel stretched thin
Or fresh and smooth like a new-borns
as you answer the most important of all questions.

A question most women stumble over
never get right,
until they stop trying…

Who Am I?

When you pause in answering that Q like a true-false quiz
and sink into the answer,
only for yourself,
the words come.

As a beat,
A steady drip,
An all-knowing tidal-wave…
It matters not.

All I know is that in answering this question, with a new found appreciation that I am not a lone-woman…

But blazing the trail of me,
supported and rooted,
cheered on
by amazing estrogen-flooded sisters,
Something within me
opened free.

And all it took was one more bad-ass woman in my sphere.

An Irish lass, who cares not what others think of her.

A woman who is daring,
brass,
and bold as f*ck.

A woman who knows her positives and her negatives and is not afraid to own either — for you can’t have one without the other, now can you?

A woman who happens to love that world as much as her drink…
and herself.

Yep, I said it.

She loves herself and that, friend, is where you too may have been steered wrong if you thought “ego” or “well…”

All starts with love of self.

I too was told that was so very wrong…

And I’m now calling bullsh*t
because, in truth,
it’s the only right thing there is.

This field of you
when fertilized with love,
becomes a place all can grow.

If you are a JOY-Subscriber, you can dive in here now.

This is where I share The Answer, my answer, to this question so few ask of themselves. That so few are able to answer honestly, for themselves.

And hey, I get it because before just one hour with this bad-ass, fearless woman, and taking a beat, I too would have answered this question with others in mind first.

Who Am I? The Answer.

Not yet a JOY-Subscriber?

Well, it’s a shame for there is so much word-play for those inside my Circle of Joy, words that uplift, words that resonate, words that make one think and words that make one feel…

You can get a sneak peek of those words here and then check out just what being a JOY-Subscriber looks like, because, let’s face it…

We could all use more JOY at this time, could we not?

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Photo Credit: Alexander Krivitskiy @krivitskiy

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What’s More JOY Worth To You?

For Less Than 191 Pennies A Week
Access All My JOYful Words

For the detailed soul, click here for more.