Revealing Me — Jill-O-Licious
That’s me.
A new way of being
That is so delicious
I figured what the heck. . .
Jill - Delicious.
Finally, I realize I am.
Life is.
Delicious.
So, as words are, after all, my SuperPower, it simply seemed like utter perfection to combine the two and create the extraordinary.
That is me. . .
Embracing life.
Loving each breath, each moment
And treating it as though it’s all a precious gift.
Because it so is.
Jill-o-licious is the me who values JOY above all.
Perhaps tied neck-and-neck with inner peace, that is.
Jill-o-licious the version of me who no longer hides
No longer is concerned with the thoughts of another.
The judgments
The pleasing
The constant doing
Instead of spinning, I am focused on my gifts,
the impact my words create,
and how they resonate with those who are led to them.
I am stepping out as Jill-o-licious. . . because I can.
Because I hid myself away for far too long.
Because I was a striver for others without a clue what I was really striving for, or why.
Because I was a pleaser to all and never to myself. . .
Because I was so very afraid to be judged. . .
and found lacking. . .
Because, if that happened, then what?
Thoughts of failure, a spiraling downward, a sinking into depression, a questioning of every-little-damn-thing and the very meaning of my existence with no clear answer ever in sight.
Because I was so very afraid, get this, that I wasn’t good enough.
Because I was a plate-spinning fool who should have won Olympic Gold, if only they had a category for such a “sport”.
Yet, the more I step out. . .
The more I open up to my own deliciousness
The more I step into a peace like nothing I have ever before felt. . .
And that’s when it hit home.
I so wasn’t alone in my thinking.
I wasn’t unique in my stories, my drama, my angst after all.
That’s when I noticed that medal I’d been painfully striving for my entire life, that I thought was rightfully, fully mine because I was so alone on this journey, and woe is me, might not have been so easily mine after all.
I mean, I would have placed, of course, ‘cause overachiever was me!
But gold, I don’t now know.
It’s not the shoo-in I once would have assumed.
See, I thought I was alone in this miserable way of being.
I thought I was special, unique, broken. . .
Turns out, I was so not alone. Ever…
And as you’re still reading, well, quite possibly you could have been my competition for gold. . . because something in my words is resonating with you, is it not?
Look, if you’re like I was, spinning your plates, working so hard to be perfect, keeping it all together, doing all the things, and putting on a smile when inside you feel like crawling back under the covers. . .
Or like me. . .
hiding out in a cave, in my pajamas, with a flashlight, a journal and, of course, a purple pen in hand.
And now that cave no longer appeals, is no longer needed, no longer serves the purpose it once did.
To protect me
To comfort me
To warm me when nothing else did.
Now I can shuck off that blanket, step fully into the sun and own who I am.
And, gasp, like the me I see.
Well, I have to share, there’s something so much more divine than that plate-spinning, over-thinking every-little-thing medal we’ve all been secretly competing for our entire lives.
While you might be a gold contender in this monumental Olympic-size lifestyle of over-achieving, over-doing, over-questioning. . .what is it costing you?
What benefit do you get from living this way? Honestly, I’m curious.
Because for me, it just plain sucked. But it was also comfy as hell.
Solely because it was known.
Now, the thought of where I used to be — doing, striving, stressed, joyless, suffering, stuffing my emotions, depressed, lost even. . .
Where everything in my life suffered because of it - from my relationships, raising step-kids, my marriage, my self-worth, my health, my finances. . . my very happiness.
Gosh, it was not so long ago that I was so incredibly sad, unhealthy and all but walking around in circles, searching aimlessly for a way out, and never finding relief from all the spinning.
From the negative voice in my head.
Because I know just how unfulfilling it is.
How utterly draining, life-sucking, soul-depleting, identity-robbing it is to exist, to take up space, to even breathe when living for other people, for approval and from what my mentor calls the “have, do, be” model.
And yet there was a benefit for me that I’d failed to see.
It was comfortable.
It was easy, in its painful hardness, because it was known.
And I was addicted.
Addicted to suffering
To the story
To the angst
To the martyring of me.
And then I found a new way.
A way so f-ing peaceful I can’t even begin to express how delicious it really, truly, undeniably is.
Now that’s so foreign, my old way of being, that it’s no longer an option in my reality.
I mean, seriously, Jill-o-licious and sad just can’t coexist!
So, this is your invite.
To a new way of thinking
To a new way of seeing yourself.
To a new way of life. . .
Free of plate-spinning.
Free of over-thinking, over-doing, over-analyzing, over-questioning.
To a way of discovering
Who you are under all the bullsh-t,
all the pretend,
all the stories,
and all the negative thinking you do in the dark
and even in the light of the brightest day. . .
and put on a happy face, projecting to the world that you’ve got it all together.
I’ve so been there and so done that.
For years.
And man it was exhausting, joyless and, even worse, living a lie.
If this sounds like you, I encourage you to lean into what it means for a person such as yourself to honestly, for-real, step out as you.
Do you even know who that you is under all the layers?
Under all the stories, the beliefs, the lies we tell ourselves daily, until we start to recognize them as our truth.
A false truth that makes us miserable
Makes us hide our real selves
because who would want to see the real, flawed, imperfect us?
I sure didn’t want to see it
Didn’t think anyone else did
But now I know differently.
Being real, vulnerable, present is what makes us great.
Makes me great.
Now I know myself.
And I can forgive myself the “wasted” years that I spent spinning and running from me.
Because they weren’t wasted after all.
That path
A never-ending journey into spin
Into more doing
Into exhaustion
Into possibly stopping the voice within for just a moment.
Possibly enjoy a second of all that I’m striving for. . .
Which is what. . .?
I never had a clear view.
I never knew.
It was simply go-go-go
Because the alternative, to stop, to be. . . me
Ah hell no, that was to painful
too uncomfortable
too terrifying to contemplate
Until it was too late.
To do anything but be me.
And in doing so, in stepping fully into myself
I’m finding, for the very first time,
upon shucking away the crap
the stories, blame, shame, pain. . .
I like me.
And none if it was wasted.
None of it was for naught.
For it led me to right where I am today.
Here, with you.
Stepping fully into me — and the version of me it’s now totally okay to be — Jill-o-licious.
I’m proud of the woman, the person, the individual that I am. Because I have taken the reins of my life.
I have stepped into all parts of me
And embraced all my sides.
No longer hiding that painful piece of me.
No longer stuffing the delicious, playful parts of me.
The part of me that desires fun, thrives on JOY, basks in encouragement yet doesn’t need it from others to succeed.
The side of me that doesn’t buy into drama and angst and stories and the blame-game any more.
A 2.0 version of me that rocks responsibility, integrity, and kicking perfect to the curb where it belongs.
The me that steps boldly out,
Aware that judgment will happen and yet, not caring in the least.
Instead not giving two-sh*ts what others may think.
And that, friend, is bliss.
A freedom like I can not even describe.
A peace like no other.
And I can honestly say — you want some of this!
So if you feel me when I say that keep reading as I have two paths below you may wish to explore.
Three Options For You…
First, you can keep reading…
and discover my journey out of the dark cave of self-loathing, blame, shame, fear, and even depression.
And into the sunshine of powerful inner peace, boundless joy and a playful approach to life that has shifted everything I do.
You can learn about my alter ego, Jill-o-licious, and how I now live from a place of loving myself and loving others without strings or conditions.
And see the proof of how I now live — a deep knowing that anything and everything is 100% possible.
This site, Kicking Perfect, is my love note, my calling card, my invitation to a new way, dare I say a better way of being.
A way of being that when I fully embraced, the world tilted under me and finally, sweetly, righted itself.
And that journey is one of many I have and am currently documenting here on this site, and through words.
Why words? Because Words are my SuperPower.
Stories are my means to an end. My gift. And for some, they resonate enough to bring laughter, tears, a smile, even an unintentional snort or two.
[Involuntary snorting is good. Mixed with uncontrollable laughter, it’s the best thing ever!]
And in the spirit of sharing my gift, here’s a little ditty you might enjoy reading on just that — that art of giving (with an ancient twist).
Second, you can become a JOY-Scriber
And basically access more behind the curtain writing, stories, shares and dare-I-say-teachings from me.
Learn more about that opportunity here.
Third, You Can Set Yourself Up For…
…boundless joy and keep perfect to the curb in your own life by scheduling a one-hour, deep-dive coaching call into you.
And what’s holding you back, keeping you stuck, spinning, exhausted, miserable, or just plan wanting something — anything — to break you free from where you currently feel lost, trapped, unable to find the joy that is rightfully yours to claim.
I can’t say we’ll shift mountains in that hour, however, from experience in helping others, I can say your outlook can change, possibilities can open for you, and that which holds you back or makes you dislike yourself on a deep, personal level can fall away… when you are ready.
This coaching can be intense and utterly rewarding. . .
Can be full of tears and filled with moments of laughter. . .
It’s about feeling again, and it’s not for everyone.
So, if you aren’t willing to step into your truth, no longer be the do-er of all, and to stop taking on the weight of the world, this coaching opportunity is not for you.
And it is an opportunity, friend.
So buckle up, buttercup, and get ready if you know in your heart, and your gut that this is your time to push through, to find the missing link of you, discover more and schedule your call now.
