OMG, I Am A…
If you’ve ever been in the spin of doing,
of pleasing,
of following,
of striving,
of learning,
of over-thinking,
analyzing every-little-thing…
I feel you.
I was you…
It’s a habit, a pattern, a web that might just have repetitive layers.
These Wednesday Words are all about what happens when the spin stops.
The lightbulb clicks on with blinding clarity
And the need to see,
understand,
plan down-to-every-single-detail,
that path forward,
is no longer needed…
These words are the opening to such freedom….
Read on if you want some of that…
Because it’s seriously
Delicious.
OMG, I Am A…
It just hit me like a ton of bricks,
A two-by-four upside the head,
My coaches’ of course, Jill
ringing like the church bells of my soul.
I am a writer.
I am a f-cking writer.
Newsflash, I am a damn good, bestselling, award-winning writer.
An author with creds.
A Word Doctress with soul.
A m-ther-bleeping badass wordsmith wielding a purple pen
I am a gifted, g-ddamn writer.
And I’ve been burying that
in doing a sh-t ton of other things.
I have closeted myself in shoulda, woulda, coulda
And wasted precious time
doing stupid sh-t
in order to do that thing
I am here to do.
Write.
Head-meet-desk-hard.
Chasing shiny things,
Following some gurus words.
Funnel this. Funnel that.
When really it was all about
“Move b-tch, get out the way, get out the way, b-tch, get out the way!”
Leave it to Ludacris, a rapper turned actor, to sum in up one repetitive line.
I have been my own worst enemy
Doing all the things
so that one day, soon
I could focus
on that which matters.
And it’s time I get out of my own damn way and focus on what matters now.
Because now is the only time I’ve got.
What about you?
Do you hear me whisper-shouting your name?
If you’re here, it’s for a reason.
Are you too a closeted-creator?
A one day,
when the time is just-right
and all-the-things align,
planning to spread your wings
and be the you –
you were born to be?
I’ll go first.
I’ll confess
As I’ve heard it’s good for the soul.
But more than confess,
I commit to stopping the madness that I’ve resided in.
Spun, like a fine web of silk…
Beautiful, intricate, delicious-even
but imprisoning just the same.
For me, I’ve put off my words, writing…
Nothing but write, publish,
write, publish
And yet, I have roped myself into believing I needed to learn all the things.
To do the ABCs of marketing,
the 123s of social media,
the follow-this-leader,
Listen to that-voice,
Master this and that,
Invest in this greatest, latest thang
Until I can
ring that shiny bell
over and bloody over again
So twisted in knots
I don’t even recognize
my damn self.
And I don’t.
Recognize parts of me that were once friend
yet now seem more stranger-foe.
That striving, struggling, focused on all the doing
The cleaning up of all the things
The cutting back of that massive web
Instead of just be-ing me.
The BadAss JOYful Writer who writes all-the-words with a purple pen.
That side piece, left-over version of me,
Reared her fake head,
trapping me in patterns
of do this then that so you can then be you.
Head. Desk. Ouch.
Even isolated and alone for 2020,
Working on my-fab-self,
only recently lonely,
while the world burned
and seethed
and a virus spread like wildfire,
I allowed myself to be reinfected.
The striving
The perfecting
The doing this so I can finally do that
The either-or chaos that used to be me.
See, the virus has always been one within me.
One of not listening to the voice that screams
Write, damn it, Jill, write.
Even my mentor recently said, “Your stories. People love your stories.”
And my coach often says, “People need to hear you, Jill. To read your words. People need your JOY.”
Yet, it was just last week while on a marketing call, where I was listening to the very knowledgeable speaker tout dos and don’t of sales, that I got a queasy feeling in my gut.
A moment of such feels that my first thought was “uh-oh, did I eat something bad?”
Turns out I did not.
Eat something off…
I was hearing something off for me.
So not aligned with my values, my core
Who I was meant to be being
But was too busy avoiding.
See, at some point, it’s high-past-time to stop listening to all-the-damn-voices and tune into mine.
And that’s what happened to me this morning
As I swept my floors.
The repetitive action
being in a trance-like state
that opens me to receiving
that which I truly need to hear.
Yep, trippin’ without the use of narcotics and the side benefit of a clean-ass floor.
It’s not that the marketing expert didn’t have vital information to share and wasn’t spot on.
It’s simply that the message wasn’t on point for me, in this moment.
It was an awakening to where is my attention?
My focus?
Have you had that feeling?
That knowing in your gut, your heart?
Some unexplainable spot
that’s out of your head,
Your mind,
Not a reasonable thought
but you know is on-the-mark?
When I feel that way and don’t listen, that’s when my life goes tits-up.
Imagine, if all you need to know is within.
Because that’s the damn-skippy-straight truth, yo.
When I listen to that voice, I don’t go wrong.
And that voice is screaming at me
loud and proud and clear
as a just Windex-ed,
twice
looking-glass.
Write. Writer. Write.
So I hereby commit to just that.
And because I know some other creative out there
A being who’s perhaps stuck in a non-creative corporate job
Or been wondering how to make a buck with their art
while still hearing that old tired voice of someone,
way back when saying,
get a real job first….
That closeted-artist is asking
What does that even look like to just write, writer, write?
And that’s a mighty-fine-question because we’re trapped in a society that rewards doing instead of being.
So here’s my answer.
For me write.writer.write means
Stop all the madness.
For me the madness is
all the things that
one day
will allow
me to write
yet keep me from writing
now.
All the creating, all the spinning of plates, all the mindless learning that’s without purpose and intention.
Because friend just like abundance follows JOY,
a secret key to life
is using your intention and your will.
When you do, life is magically delicious.
So I now burn it all down to focus on the following:
Write A Book
(Or Three, I Like Things In 3s)
If you’ve listened to me, followed me or worked with me, you know I write 2,500 words each morning – typically before the sun shines. I love this way of showing up and now I’m switching it up.
These words have always been just mine.
Meaning anything else I need to write is written on top of these 2,500 words.
Most of my morning word-count never sees the light of day.
And yes, Dear Becks, (my delightful, bossy agent), I’m sure many of them could be strung together into a book or twelve.
But now, the mix is this – 1,000 of those morning words, plus anything else I choose to write in the day will be book-specific.
BOOM!
See, to me, my 2,500 morning word-count, five days a week was learning how to perfect one punch.
To master the art of writing, of voice.
A lesson well learned.
And with more than 20,000,000 morning words written, I’d say mission accomplished.
So there will be a book released August 8, 2021 and it will be in my own name. You can access the waitlist right here.
But also look out for more reads from me in 2021...as one book a year…
Hmm, I’m thinking I have more in me now that my focus is on-point.
Writing Wednesday Words
A weekly blog post where I get to be me, write what I want to write about and perhaps inspire the closeted creative in you. Or just plain rock your world!
Some Wednesday Words are forever-free and some are in The JOY Vault 24-hours after publishing – it’s a bit of a game and we all need more fun (and dare I say, JOY) in our lives, do we not?
So that’s what I am committed to and it feels so dang good!
Plus…
Coaching Closeted Creatives
In the art of knowing Abundance Follows JOY and creating A Most Delicious Life – and that it doesn’t have to be hard…
I have been coaching creatives for more than two decades.
You can read about it here.
Some of my coaching clients are writers, some are creative only at heart and others don’t even identify with being creative…
But if something I say here in this Love Letter resonates, book a session.
If it doesn’t, find someone who does speak your language.
I am a firm believer in having a coach.
I have an awesome one.
And also a new believer in boundaries.
And I have just narrowed down,
by half,
the amount of hours I dedicate to coaching.
Why?
Because I am here to
Write. Writer. Write.
And that calling must come first.
This is what it looks like to burn-baby-burn it-down and get #real.
Teaching A Monthly Masterclass
These JOYful Word Masterclasses range in word-topic and are a delicious way to get my coaching, knowledge, experience and skill as a JOYful writer for an affordable investment, in a group setting.
And they are a way for me to connect, outside the voices of my characters, and sharpen my coaching blade.
Let’s face it.
I love to coach, teach and write
but writing must come first.
Remember, I am going back to my line of wakening, clarity and the zap of freedom that calls simply – write.writer.write.
When that calling is honored first, all works.
Lean into your knowing,
that voice within
and hear it loud and clear.
It’s there.
I have committed to teaching these Masterclasses the 3rd Saturday of each month this year and I am keeping them on my schedule because they grow me, they are impactful for others and there is a need.
See, I am learning the power of being committed, which does not mean staying in what makes you miserable because you gave your word, but doing more of those things that build you up. And having the courage to change your mind and burn down that which no longer serves.
This Masterclass is a delicious slow build for me, and a way I can invite creatives to work with me for a steal-of-a-deal because let’s face it my words aren’t cheap.
Launching A Podcast March 3
A Most Delicious Life Or He Said, She Said
Give me your preferred title vote now, before it’s too late by leaving a comment below. Then get on my Wednesday Words list to be notified first when we go live.
The reason I am choosing to do this is simple. I listened to the masses and then I listened to the voice within. My voice. The only one that truly matters. The masses need an uplifting voice, stories, encouragement, JOY…
Because let’s get real, people are suffering, feeling isolated, alone, lonely and if my voice, my words can impact just one… than I have won.
Fun Fact: I am a verbal processor and until two years ago, I had no idea. I am also a poet, a writer of prose and what better way to share a message than with a vocal slam.
Plus, I believe there is a need for a writer’s voice to be heard that cuts through the starving artist mentality and shares that anything is possible, even being a successful creative who makes bank simply by designing his or her own most delicious life.
See words are everything and you’re using them every moment to create your life…
so you choose “delicious” or not.
A Creative Card
Much like a wild-card, this is my moment of freedom to be me and might be applied quarterly or annually. It’s open to possibility.
No more needing to publish a quarterly The JOY Magazine because I thought it was a good idea in the heat of one creative moment. Ah yeah, I did that and have four issues actually!
This is my ability to express myself with a series, a short story, a published piece on Elephant Journal like this one or this one or to create social media posts for a month.
Still have a love-hate relationship happening there. Feel free to stalk me.
This might be my creative moment to record a video for My JOY Subscribers or release an audio, one-off program or just work on my damn book or outline the next one.
The Creative Wild Card is just that wild, untamed – the structured-freedom to do anything I damn well please, even if it’s not aligned with the above five-bulleted-things…
Delicious And Fabulous…Is It Not?
Because suddenly there is freedom in the structure, in the discipline, in the devotion to one thing.
Write. Writer. Write.
It feels freeing to just do sh-t my way.
And my sh-t is to write.
Blog posts that might turn into sections or chapters within a book.
Articles that may inspire a generation and become a series.
Words that resonate…
Inspire
Lead
Bring JOY.
Writing is all about my voice, my way, and for a cold-hard-second I lost that.
When I am true to me, my words work, they land.
Empowering.
Serving.
Impacting.
What about you?
How freeing would it be and do you, your way…
To stop seeking external approval,
to end all the learning,
to begin again…
Knowing you are exactly where you need to be.
Not to copycat a marketing plan or follow a guru
but to burn all the shit down.
Shut it off.
And turn up the volume on the drumbeat of you.
Your soul, karma, calling...
Your dharma.
When you stop pedaling another’s bike around the circular track of someone else’s life, your dharma catches up to you…
It’s found, but only in the in between.
It’s the whisper-shout within, the one that tells me simply
Write.Writer.Write.
This is where I’m at…
A moment to simply bask in the fact that my focus is one thing and one thing only.
It’s also my SuperPower.
Coming out of The Creative Closet,
my way,
as me,
and doing my thing–
full-stop.
Will it work?
For twenty-plus years it did.
And then I got out of my heart and into my head.
It worked for me,
writing as someone else,
closeted but true to me,
not caring of reviews
or marketing trends.
Not paying mind to the latest, greatest funneled-path to success.
Instead, just going with my gut.
Purple pen-ning my words.
Knowing I was the conduit.
Simply showing up as me,
the writer, each and every day.
And for the nosey soul, when I say burn it down,
this is what I mean…
Pressing pause on cleaning things up,
fixing shit,
learning all the things…
Waiting to get it right.
Perfecting all the sh-t...
And instead serving
With heart.
An open heart.
And just recognizing that if it ain’t listed above
It is none-of-my-concern
at this time.
Exhale. Sweet relief.
I want that for you.
When you’re ready for the deep sigh of absolute, divine freedom from all that’s got you stuck, spinning, going a 100 miles a minute…
Get your fabulous self on my coaching schedule or be finally allow the creative-in-you out to play and join my masterclass to start co-creating a most delicious life.
And at the very least, join my Wednesday Words JOYnote train… and make a date to read my words each week… some say they make their day. What will you say?
For access to all my words become a JOY-Subscriber today.
Simple paths allow for crazy impact. If you want some of that, sink into this message and hear your own inner calling.
You know your path, isn’t it about damn time you followed it?
When you need support, I have your back.
One Hour Has The Power To Impact All
Post Photo Credit: Eyasu Etsub @jphotography2012