The Gift Of Clarity
It’s funny how I never saw myself as a poet yet I’ve been creating word-play beyond that of stories for decades now.
It started with the way I’d chat with animals in the pine forest near my New England early-childhood home.
I found creatures to be the best audience — ever.
Even better than my dog, who had a temper that equaled mine, or the inanimate attention of my stuffed animal baby collection.
See, the animals, they gave me immediate feedback with cocked heads and twinkling eyes. Ah, yeah, their eyes twinkled, sparkled and squinted based on my wordplay!
So now, it’s past time to allow human eyes to shine in the light of these words that flow so freely from within.
This little ditty is all about growth and the gift that is clarity. Enjoy!
I Am A Clarity Seeker
You could say I’ve always been seeking.
I’ve known,
since early on,
that there was a reason I was here.
Here on this earth.
Here at this time.
Here for a purpose.
I’ve listened to speakers
I’ve read the books
I’ve gone to conferences
I’ve been pumped-up for a day, a weekend
I’ve been motivated, sure
I’ve been inspired, absolutely
But I’m always left wondering
What am I missing…?
What’s wrong with me…?
Why isn’t this - what I have - enough?
I’ve gotten so lost in my head,
Questioning every - little - thing.
Looking for coincidences
In every - little - thing.
Struggling
And succeeding at this thing called
manifesting.
Only to struggle again.
Lack seems to follow me.
Failure is often
my middle name.
Celebrate, you say.
What?
How?
When?
It’s never enough…
Time is passing me by and
Still there is something missing
A piece of the puzzle that is me.
Why is this so hard?
This trip around the sun.
Is it me?
It makes me sad,
Angry,
Unhappy
Even when really,
from the outside,
I have a great life.
I should be happy.
I should be content.
I should feel like
THIS
IS
ENOUGH.
So then,
Why am I so lost..?
So unhappy..?
Always searching for something…
An answer?
More money?
A better relationship?
To be more like so-and-so…
To discover my purpose
My reason for being
Here
Now.
Damn it, what is my path?
There are no answers
to fill this gap,
this ache,
this hole
that is me.
Sometimes I just feel so damn lost.
Sometimes I just want to stop.
To stop the thoughts
End the madness.
To stop the search for meaning
To demand SOMEBODY listen to me.
Why am I even here...?
Am I even good enough...?
Maybe if I scream loud enough into the noise -
That is my mind -
Someone will hear my call
My cry
My desire
To understand
Who am I
Even?
What am I
Really
Doing here?
Why am I
So lost
So confused
So desperate
To understand.
Understand what?
Something just out of my grasp
But damn it,
I know it’s there.
In my bones,
I know there is more.
I know
I know
I know
Yet, I understand nothing.
I know there is
More than 9-to-5
More than rinse and repeat
More than this struggle
More than the fake news talk.
The water cooler gossip.
The work.
Retire
Die
Path
that feels like such a
lie.
I know in my bones
There are answers to all that I seek.
There is a clarity,
A peace.
That I am lacking
That I so desire
That I continue to search for.
And damn it,
I will no longer apologize for
Seeking
Clarity.
I will no longer apologize for
Being me.
I will no longer hide
Who I am
For I a —
Me.
And this desire, this clarity seeking,
led me to this moment.
This path
This place
This time.
Like the poet Frost said best,
“Two roads...
One less traveled…”
I am so ready to
Walk the path
Less traveled
And discover
All the Clarity I Seek.
Here I am
A place I found Me
A place for Clarity Seekers
A place to Transform
A place to simply BE.
💜
Photo Credit: Elijah Hiett @elijahdhiett
