Now Is A Vulnerable Time
Now is a vulnerable time.
For some a difficult time.
And the ideal moment for more JOY.
Being vulnerable can be empowering
Or it can be disempowering, as it once was for me…
A holder-on-er of emotions
Of events
Of situations
Of interpretations
Of choices
Of wrongs
Of slights
Of pain
Of shame
Of stories
Ah, the stories.
I’d hold on for not just
An hour
A day
A month
A year
But more like
6
12
28
Gasp, some stories of
Not good enough
Not worthy enough
Not perfect enough
Not lovable enough.
Not
Enough
Period
Played on repeat
Over and over
And bloody
Over again
For 45 years…
Can you feel me?
Does that resonate?
In some small
Or large way
The suffering…
Until I came
Full
Stop
Until I uncovered
what was within me
all along.
Peace.
Enoughness.
Perfection.
In the form of
Perfectly Imperfect
Because I am.
Enough.
Brave
Strong
Powerful
F-ing Loveable
I am NOT broken
And ah, the joy of knowing
I never was.
Broken.
I never needed permission
To simply be
I never needed steps
A blueprint
A staircase to this or that
A class
A course
A guru
All I ever needed was me
To go within
To let the walls
Crumble
Fall
Break apart
And expose the real
Vulnerable
Raw is me.
Flawed is me.
Perfectly Imperfect is me.
Being
That
Is
Me
I hid the real me
I never shared
I never truly cared
(for me)
I never
Allowed myself to shine
To play
To connect
To express
All
That
I
Am
Fear
Judgment
Shame
Blame
Were my go-to addictions
My go-to ways of being.
Committed to suffering...
A game I played...
Solo.
But now. Now I choose
A new path…
Because
I can do the “hard” things.
I can lean in.
I can feel.
And find
grace.
I can forgive
Others.
I can forgive
Me.
I can let go.
I can let it be easy.
When I get quiet
When I stop the spin
When I follow directions
When I stay in the content
When I use the tools
When I stay aware…
When I love me and finally admit
I am not broken…
I never have been
I have nowhere else to be
I can not change what was
Nor what will be
But I can give myself the gift
Of now
Of the present
Moment
This moment
Did you miss it?
Lean in.
Feel.
Drop the serious.
Shed the fear
The worry
And sit with you.
In grace.
Find more JOY
And know you’re here
And it’s perfectly
Timed
Aligned
Divine.
And it’s only just begun.
Sink into a knowing
What I now know.
All has been
Always will be
And is
Fine.
💜
Photo Credit: Ian Espinosa @greystorm
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