Reacting Versus Sinking Into Awareness
What Follows Are Some Of My Thoughts About Last Week, When The American Topics Of Police Brutality And Racism Took A World Stage.
The intention behind all these words is a sinking into awareness.
There may be a desire to react.
There may be a moment of unease.
There may be a new profound shift toward understanding…
Should you care to read and deepen your own knowing about the topic that has not only the States but the world spinning, please sit back with a mug of your favorite beverage and dive in with me…
…with JOY.
I Admit I Was
Triggered For A Moment.
Then went inward.
Then searched for understanding.
Then chose to go within again.
Some of us are on the front lines and some of us are not.
Some are holders of signs. Some march. A few become powerful voices heard throughout the microphones of society.
And some change the world more quietly, one smile, one interaction, at a time.
I am not an activist, however, I am an empath.
I am not a reactive person (any more). And yet react, I did.
I am not a racist person, and yet I saw how my ignorance made me so.
I wrote words.
Many many words
To process the feels.
Some words
In reaction.
Other words
To vent.
And even more
Out of ego.
When I took a beat and saw that I was reacting and not coming from a place of JOYful awareness, I shelved those words.
I pressed pause on JOY within the virtual walls of this site for the week.
I took a raincheck on daily tasks and dove headfirst into unlearning some rather f-ed up ways I thought.
Things I didn’t even realize, had no awareness of, but now, thankfully I do.
I could have hit publish.
I could have reacted.
I could have added to the feeding frenzy…
Which yes, in my opinion, it did become.
As that’s how shame, blame, drama most often goes down.
However, I am about JOY.
I am about LOVE.
I am about discovering,
uncovering,
sinking in
and that happens
in the space
in between.
When I get quiet.
And share.
From love.
Because how I speak, how I write, how I choose to share matters.
The intention behind my words is everything.
So, out of some 10,000 words written, these are the few I have edited down and now am able to share with you…
They come from my heart… with the intention to empower all.
And with that, I leave you be and honor your journey with respect on this topic… to read my words or to not.
Who am I to write words of JOY right now?
Who am I not to?
Who am I to run a business when the world feels like it’s coming apart at the seams?
Who am I not to?
Who am I to judge what is happening?
Who am I to pretend to understand?
Who Am I To Get Involved?
Who Am I Not To… Get Involved?
Who am I to ignore the pain?
Who am I to ignore the injustice?
Who am I to worry about offending someone, saying the wrong thing?
Who am I to make it all about me?
The time has passed for not knowing what to say, fearing you’ll say the wrong thing, worried about angering this group or that group.
There are many groups, movements, people, opinions and this isn’t about pleasing anyone.
Life isn’t about pleasing anyone.
Living your life is about living your truth. Do you even know it?
To me, life is about showing up with a desire to listen, to hear, to learn, to ask questions, to comprehend, to work toward understanding, to dialogue...
And even going so far as to unlearn a lot of the stories we believe.
And to get over ourselves, our labels, our groups, our biases, our judgements and maybe, press pause on reacting.
Say hell no to lashing out.
Isn't it the lashing out that adds to the problem?
Isn’t it the calling out of those not showing up exactly like another, part of the issue here?
Isn’t It Time
We Press Pause
On Judgement,
On Shame,
On Ridicule,
On Condemnation
And Simply Be Present..?
Sink in, work to understand, if that’s one’s chosen path, and allow each person their own journey, at their own speed?
Isn’t it time for more respect?
Isn’t it lack of respecting individuality that got us to this place?
Do correct me if I am “wrong”...
What If Now
Is Instead A Time
To Stand Together..?
Not from a need to be heard yourself, but from a deep-seated space of desiring a better America.
A better world.
A better existence for all people.
The time has come to open, not just our hearts, but also our minds and our eyes.
The time has come to stop putting people into camps, to refrain from a them versus us mentality, that is often used to control and manipulate people…
The time has come to stop tolerating, stop accepting what is, stop hoping it will change, stop ignoring what is…
In the hopes, it will all magically disappear.
I am not an activist.
I am not someone who watches the news.
I am not someone who identified with being racist.
I am someone who didn’t see color… or so I thought.
I am someone who didn’t understand this term — white privilege.
I am someone who didn’t bother to educate myself.
I am who stood silent, but supportive, so I thought.
But I see now that in staying quiet, living in my self-imposed bubble, praying it will all get better, leaving it to those with vision and voice to stand tall and do something…
That’s adding to what is…
what has been…
what can no longer be.
The time has come for ALL people to shout from rooftops and mountains
THIS. IS. NOT. OKAY.
Or Process In Their Own Quiet Way.
Because when the shouts burst forth in anger, in pent up rage, in frustration and pain is anyone even heard?
Or does that give us another reason not to listen, not to understand, not to hear the cries of generations in the voices of now?
Or does the conversation turn from the importance of this topic to a blame- shame game about riots and looting and not understanding “those” people?
Which is the point, is it not?
Those people…
This is what we do, as a society. We categorize, compartmentalize and we distance ourselves.
Instead of sinking into the ick of it all and getting uncomfortable.
Because let’s be real. It’s f*cking uncomfortable right now, to be white.
But hasn’t it been f*cking uncomfortable, even downright deadly, to be black or brown for generations — if not civilizations?
I say we get cozy in the discomfort. We all cop-a-squat and stop pretending that singing Kumbaya and preaching peace, love and light will be the only thing that heals this Grand Canyon size issue.
Please don’t misunderstand.
I Think Coming From Love
Is The Best Thing
We Can All Do…
But It Takes An Awakened Soul
To Share This View,
To Know This…
Does It Not?
And for one to have been beaten down for generations, to comprehend that love can heal all, well, that’s not a place many can sink into. Yet.
But we do have examples of possibility.
Nelson Mandela for one.
It is an issue, a problem, and as much as it should not be, this is where we are. Where we have always been, simply in different shades of acceptance.
This is where we find ourselves now. And now is what matters.
We live in a world of many injustices and inequalities.
A world where we all have been conditioned to not know our own power.
A world where we are enslaved to see all through a lens only a few control.
The media is one example of that control.
We also live in a world full of people capable of more.
So much more.
We live in a world where our power comes when we unite together - not against someone but for something.
We have done this in the past, have we not?
9/11 is an example when this nation came together as one for a short time.
Imagine If We
Came Together Daily,
As A Way Of Being.
It starts now. And yes it should have started long ago, but we can bemoan what didn’t happen or stand together in much-needed-change and demand it be our now.
A Great Question To Ask Yourself Today Is What Do You Stand For?
This is not about you in any other way, shape or form.
And that’s what I had to come to terms with.
This is not about me being a good person.
This is not about me looking good.
Sounding good.
Doing good.
This is not about you having been a good white person (if that is your skin tone), not a racist, not living your life seeing skin color, not having a problem with black or brown people.
As I’ve just recently learned, that way of thinking IS part of the problem.
This is coming to terms with — what do you stand for?
And I’m still learning just how to navigate this all-important question.
But aren’t we all?
So on this topic and in life, I’ve been pondering and you may wish to do the same.
What Do You Hold Dear, Value, And Make A Priority?
For me, it’s JOY.
It’s being KIND.
It’s coming from a place of LOVE.
And yes, PEACE.
But in order to come from LOVE, in order to honor a person from a place of KINDNESS, I must work to understand others.
So I take a stand for educating myself. Always.
I take a stand for listening, not to speak my own words, but to truly hear the words, stories, and needs of another.
I take a stand for being my best self, which is not a selfish thing at all, but the most honorable and hardest of tasks.
When I Am My Best Self,
I Am Capable Of Changing The World.
And so are you.
Wasn’t it Gandhi who said “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
While this quote is often used, there is so much truth in these ten small, impactful words.
See, “control is an illusion” and something I learned from Jim Fortin, who is my mentor and a transformational thought leader. (@iamjimfortin on IG)
There is no controlling another’s thoughts, beliefs, actions or ways of being.
The only thing within one’s control is him or herself.
I Choose To Sink Into
Educating Myself And Unlearning
That Which No Longer Serves Me.
I choose to sink into even more JOY as the world riots and protests.
I choose to sink into even more LOVE as thought leaders and online personalities jumped to pit against one another in a shame-blame game.
For what? More likes? More fame? Where is one’s intention and attention in that way of being..?
And I choose NOW to speak up, through my superpower of words…
We each have our own way of absorbing, feeling, leaning into what is.
For some, reacting is the way.
For some, sinking into awareness is the path.
For some, nothing has been their way of being.
And each person’s path is neither right nor wrong, it simply is.
Now that I have more knowledge, more understanding and more awareness around that which I can see I was ignorant of, I can share my words.
Maya Angelou said, “People won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”
I Want People To Feel JOY. All People.
Oprah once said, “It doesn’t matter who you are, where you came from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always.”
There is power in that statement and in the words below.
“You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself.” The wise Buddha spoke these words and I now see just how loudly they ring with truth. For me.
See, I sunk into a new path toward understanding over the last 10 or so days.
At times, it felt heavy, overwhelming, intense and emotional.
At times, I admit, I wanted to stop and go back into my bubble.
But I did not.
And yes, I could bemoan that I didn’t do it sooner.
Educate myself.
Open the door to conversation, understanding and defining terms that I admit to never having fully understood — like white privilege.
I could feel guilt and shame over not educating myself before this day and the death of this one man, George Floyd, who represents hundreds upon hundreds upon thousands of black men in America and around the world.
Or, I can sink into knowing that it’s best to “...concentrate the mind on the present moment” because…
“The Mind Is Everything. What You Think
You Become.”
Pause on that for a moment because knowing that, not understanding that, is everything.
“What you think you become.”
Buddha, a being who went inward to solve what he saw in the external world, also said,
“When The Mind Is Pure,
Joy Follows Like A Shadow That Never Leaves.”
Allow those words to sink deeply in as they do for me on the daily.
The only thing I have any control over are my thoughts.
And how I choose to show up.
So no, I choose to not sink into shame, blame, guilt, pain over what was, but instead focus on being part of the needed change by educating myself in the now.
But yes, acknowledging my ignorance and doing something about it by starting conversations, asking questions and spreading JOY in the process.
So my focus is not on the past, as the past no longer is. Instead, my focus is on now and creating impact with my words.
And yes, they remain words of JOY, even in a time such as now.
Especially in a time such as now.
I’d encourage you to find the JOY in the now and share it with me. Even in the darkest hours, there is still JOY to be seen, heard, felt and experienced.
To know this is to truly live.
Post a comment below, if you agree (or disagree), and keep the conversation going. When we share, without fear of judgement or ridicule or criticism, we can create a ripple of change that soon becomes a wave.
💜
You may wish to read a follow up to this post that’s more of a personal, raw and vulnerable share of the impact this week had on me. Login to access the post,
Coming Face-To-Face With My Own Ignorance, right now.
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Photo Credit: Nkululeko Mayiyane @nkuleesparx
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