I have to first say that I’ve lived in a bubble, 

choosing to see the world as good. 

Choosing to see possibility even in a time such as now. 

I’ve actually always lived in a bubble, but this bubble has extended to my location, a small island in the middle of a tropical blue sea. 

And even though most people have been hit over the head with COVID-this, COVID-that, I have been extremely fortunate. 

Able to tune most of it out. 

Able to walk about freely. 

Able to enJOY my life. 

Yes, there was a lockdown. 

Yes, there are new standards, rules, ways of being a part of a community. 

However, we have had less than a handful of cases on this little slice of paradise, until recently. 

So back to that bubble, both self-imposed and my reality as COVID has simply not impacted me to the extent it has so many.

Until I traveled. 

I’m not normally masked up but for much of this time period my face was half covered, and so was everyone else's. 

In fact, I just had a conversation for ten minutes with someone I know and it literally took me eight minutes to figure out who the hell I was talking to.

For the life of me I could not place this man. 

I found myself wracking my brain as I tried to keep up.

I obviously knew I knew this man. 

I recognized his voice. 

He knew me.

He even said my name immediately. 

Not a problem for him to figure out who I am, yet for me . . . 

as half his face was covered, I had a hard time figuring out who the hell it was I was chatting with as I waited for my takeout order. 

And I felt horrible for a hot second, but had to forgive myself because I am SO visual. 

And for me, this is new. Not seeing people. Not connecting fully. Not experiencing all the facial expressions. 

If you didn’t know, I’m very expressive. I don’t have a poker face, thus I don’t play. 

[Kidding. But when I do play, I win, so watch out!]

But back to this man, not being able to identify him quickly without seeing his face made me curious. . . 

Has this ever happened to you? 

Really sink into this ask, and what impact not seeing a co-worker’s, friend’s, stranger’s face may be having on how you connect with them. 

In a world that’s already a bit disconnected, polarized, 

toss in this communication hardship . . . 

that perhaps should have engaged my other senses 

but simply triggered my mind to spin asking, who the hell is this . . ? 

And people could really start to feel
misunderstood, even with someone you know.
Alone, even in a crowded room. 

That moment, and my recent travel encouraged me
to find a new way to smile 
to acknowledge 
to communicate 

And it all came down to my eyes. 

Did you know you can say thank you with your eyes? 

Smile with your eyes? 

Flirt with your eyes?

I didn’t do that this past trip as my Frenchman wasn’t present, and I am after all a rather loyal soul . . . but I know it’s possible. 

How do you think I snagged that ooh-la-la hot man?!

So let’s talk eyes and how we focus with intention to improve how we connect with people during this rather interesting time.

Here’s three tips to improve your communication skills and help you connect with those you come into eye-contact with. 

Warning, if you are used to shying away from staring another in the eyes, I feel your sudden pain. 

We have an entire generation or two who would rather look down, but even they need to look eye-to-eye upon occasion. 

Start small. Start in your very own mirror each and every morning as you wake up. 

Wanna get good at it? 

Cover the lower part of your face (with that mask) or put a sticky note on your mirror so your sole focus is staring into your own eyes. 

Work your way up to five full minutes of eye-to-eye combat, I mean connection, and see how deeply you feel. 

Register what it is you see and feel when you
widen your eyes,
squint your eyes,
smile with your lips and your eyes. 

Then try a frown and notice only your eyes. They speak volumes if you are but aware. 

Doing this—communicating a thought, feel, emotion with your eyes as you brush your teeth morning, noon and night—will get you Tyra Banks perfect in no time flat. 

Just have fun and be you. 

Not a nervous version of you, you’re alone! So let down your hair and your guard and get your eye-play on for five minutes, three times a day. 

Soon you and those you communicate with will be thanking me! 

One. 

Smile with your eyes. 

We get laugh lines for a reason. 

The eyes are part of the smile that’s unique to you. 

So now be aware that your eyes can smile and up the wattage to account for your fabulous upturned lips not being visible. 

I pretend I’m on the Broadway stage of my life and everything must be just a little bit bigger, bolder, more for the person in the very back row.

Two. 

Say thank you with your eyes. 

Play and say the words out loud to yourself. What happens with your eyes? 

Self awareness right now is key in elevating your somewhat limited facial communication skills. 

When you say thank you, watch what your eyes do when you mean it, when you take the time, when you feel gratitude.

The eyes move, they crinkle, they light up. 

Your eyes speak volumes if you focus on them. Add a head nod in for extra effect. 

Personally, I channel my grandfather and his generation. The last to wear a hat and reach to lift it, chin dipping down in a head nod when they allowed a woman to pass. 

So incredibly old-school polite, respectful, dapper dare I say. 

So smile behind that dang mask, saying thank you with heartfelt meaning, and simply exaggerate the eyes. 

Add in that optional head nod if it works for you. 

Three.

Widen your eyes, not with deer-in-headlights intensity,
but with excitement if that’s what you feel,
surprise if that’s what is in you.  

When we speak, our eyes change shape.
They can shine when excited. 

Go back to that mirror the next time you brush your teeth and look surprised, see what your eyes do.

It’s actually a fun way to get to know yourself and if willing, laugh at your own reflection. And if you have kids, a great way to be silly while teaching them the importance of getting to know thyself. 

You might think this is premeditating your expressions and I hear that. And respectfully disagree. 

What if it’s simply being aware of new ways you can communicate given half your face may not be visible much of the time?

And in my opinion, the half that most people focus on because we love a great smile. 

Just as if you broke an arm, you’d find new ways to pull that jacket closer around your fine-self to keep you warm. Heck, new ways to do a hell of a lot of things, would you not? 

And that’s what this time calls for in my humble opinion. 

Not a focus on what’s wrong, but a focus on how we can reconnect and enJOY our lives during this somewhat or very trying time. 

Even goats recognize, and appreciate, a smile. A study done years ago had photos of smiling people hung on one side of a pen and non-smiling faces on the other. 

Guess which side of the pen the goats gravitated toward, hung out in? Even when the photos were switched. 

A smile matters to animals. 

Imagine how much a smile or lack of seeing one over time impacts a human. You. 

In fact, the smile is so important in conveying emotion and communicating that there was a seminar I used to go to and the front row was always asked to stand at one point and turn to face the rest of the audience. 

As this was pre-COVID times, masks weren’t even a part of our reality, the presenter would ask the front row, now facing the audience, to smile. 

And the audience, without fail, would automatically start to smile back. Even laugh. 

Then the front row would be asked to not smile. To frown or simply look stern or not-so-happy. 

No joke, you could feel the energy in the room shift. Dampen. Smiles fading from all the faces. And rather quickly.

A smile, like a picture, is worth a thousand words. 

And not seeing people’s smiles right now, in this trying time of COVID, it’s having an impact that’s not yet fully understood. 

We need smiles. 

We thrive on smiles. 

We bloom inside and out when someone smiles. 

Whether at us or not simply doesn’t matter. 

So let me end on a note that can benefit you in a most delicious way. 

Smile at yourself in the mirror each evening before you go to bed. 

Smile at yourself in the mirror each morning when you rise and shine. 

Give yourself the gift of your own radiant smile and remember that even with half your face covered, if you are masked up during the day, your smile is still felt, internally and externally, because everything is energy. 

And the eyes tell the story and those are still very much visible.  

P.S. Take off those shades and express yourself!

💜

One Hour Does Have The Power To
Open Doors & Transform Your Life

Post Photo Credit Pascal Bernardon @pbernardon