This is a magical time. A unique moment where we are about to ring in not just a new year but a new decade. 

This moment is a precious span to gain clarity, to choose what you wish to bring forward and what you choose to leave behind. 

These words are my VOW of what was and what is and what’s to come in my life. 

It matters not the date, the year you find these words but the intention you hold as you absorb them. 

Why not get quiet today, choose those things, ways of being, stories, relationships and more you wish to keep and what no longer serves... 

And practice the art, as it totally is an art, of letting go. 

With grace. With ease. With JOY. 

Choose you. Choose this very moment.

💜

A VOW

New Year, New Decade, New Me

I’ve been in limbo.
I’ve been deferring to others.
Even those who perhaps knew less.
Why?

Honestly, is the why of anything that important to know?
Or is the creeping awareness what is the most vital and impactful message..?
Which then allows one to stay--stuck
Or change.

I choose change.

I’m starting fresh.
I’m starting over.
And instead of it feeling scary as hell, I’m allowing it to just be.

No more stories.
No more drama.
No more blame, shame or seeking fame.

Okay, that last is funny as I’ve spent my life hiding, but maybe it will resonate with you.

Now I am in it for JOY.
Now I am focused on being of service
But not as a way to not work on myself.
Not how can I help myself, hide myself, serve my own best interests.

I’ve never been a completely selfish person,
In fact, I’ve very often gone too far the other way.

Putting others’ needs before my own.
Putting others’ feelings before my own.

Having no boundaries.
Feeling all the feels.

And all too often ending up
Hurt
Disappointed
Disillusioned
Lost in the stories of why me?

Hello, victimhood.
Hmm, yes martyrdom that’s you.

Only to repeat the same bloody pattern
over and over again.

And that too ends with this lovely decade.

See boundaries are a beautiful thing.
Loving myself, while it takes work, is a powerful place to serve from.

Because my oxygen mask is vital.
My next breath is hugely important, is it not?

Taking care of the temple of me must come first
Otherwise, all I do for others is a smokescreen.
And hey, I perfected the smokescreen as a wee lass so as not to deal with my own dysfunctional life.

That way of being was a way to drown the fish,
a saying my Fabulous Frenchman likes to quote.
Impossible, right, to drown a fish.
And that’s the point.

How is it possible to care too much?
Look it up, my picture of old will be what you see.

We slap on a name called Empathy and say it is what it is
But that’s a lie.
A story of old
And true empathy is a wasted gift when used as an excuse.
To excuse a way of being that is familiar.
Comfortable.
Hides the work that deep down is needed
Not in others
But in others -- me.
So no more excuses.
No more labeling
No more sinking into another’s issues
To avoid my own.

But now, only now, in my mid-forties, do I see that way of being is flawed.
Only now can I truly see that if I don’t first care about me,
About my own energy,
There will be no more me.
Just the continued pattern of give give give
Then burn out.

Sick. Sick. Sick.
Rest. Crash.
Heal
Just a bit
Hard each time to bounce right back…

Only to repeat that ebb and flow
Like it’s the proverbial staircase to heaven
Only this heaven is closer to hell
And going nowhere at all.

For even as I climb
Struggling
Striving
As that’s what you do, is it not?
My staircase is a moving conveyor belt going
Down.
Down.
Down.

See if everything is energy,
I must pay attention to mine.
If everything is energy, which we know it is
I must use mine with diligence, focus and joy.

Because action is simply energy in motion.
And inaction is a waste of time…
because while I may be “motionless” in my pursuit of whatever…
I’m still “in-motion”
the only difference is that instead of going toward something
impactful,
significate,
enjoyable
I’m stuck circling a round room searching for the corner…
(as my mentor likes to say).

See it’s time to call in a new way of being.
Stand rooted.
Implement with intention.

Be the being I choose to be.
Happy. Joyful. Loving. Brilliant. Impactful.
Because everything is a choice.
And how I choose to show up to this party called life is all on me.

So I choose this year to be rooted
To be intentional
To step out into my slice of sunlight
And shine bright.

To live from a place of joy, of gratitude, of complete and utter abundance
Because I know all has been, is and always will be fine.
But now,
Only now, can I choose to create my most delicious life.
And I’m going to open the doors and expose it all to you.

Like airing out a cute-as-a-button, closed-for-the-winter summer cottage
With gingerbread trim surrounded by green and evergreen mist…

I’m shaking off the protective white sheets from the furnishings of me.

I’m sweeping away the cobwebs of past stories and fears
To show each nook and cranny.

I’m wiping off the grit of misuse and doing a joyful dance into the next season of me.

I’m an open book.
Get it.
The Word Doctress
Writer of well, words…

Hider of that SuperPower,
Til now.

I’m collecting all the pieces of me
From Education Lady
To Jill-o-licious
To The Word Doctress
And more…

That I’ve kept stuffed away in different ornate, intricately-carved boxes
Only allowing out to play
One by one...

To come together to celebrate the awakening
The party
The homecoming
Of me.

So get your delicious self ready
because now I’m all here...
About to get messy,
get dirrty (yes, with two r-s)
And joyfully real.

William Shakespeare, at least we think, said
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;”

Well, this is my entrance…
And I’m baring it all.

From the path, to the numbers, to the stumbles, spills and falls.
To the victory laps and small wins we so often forget to celebrate.

Observe at will
Learn if you so desire
Participate should you wish to advance yourself as well.

Because advancing myself
In Joy
In Peace
Is what this coming year is all about
And my oath to you, written here and now,
Is a documentation of all that is.

Because literally I start fresh…
At ground zero.
Nada.
Nothing.
Here. I. Am.

Whole.
Complete.
Stripped
Down.
Starting
Again.

And I invite you to join me on this wild, epic ride
that will reveal just what is possible
when one lives from a place of complete trust.
Complete abundance.
Complete dedication to being all in.

From Rooted Intention
And being seriously aligned with values.

For me, values of
Joy (Joyful Play)
Integrity
And…

Well, let’s leave the last as a surprise, shall we now?!
Every good chapter needs a cliffhanger so that the reader turns the page.
So go ahead and join me
And turn the page on
Start to
…will not finish
But all that is in between…

I’m going to pull back the curtain
Expose all I do
All I learn
All I earn
As I go through this insightful year
20/20
And discover what it means to
Truly put myself first
Be the version of me
Who creates a ripple
or a tidal wave of impact.

Joyfully.
Intentionally.
Measurably.

Have a VOW you care to share or wish to comment on how these words resonated with you? I read each and every comment with gratitude, so post below. I can’t wait to read your words!

And if you wish to add more JOY to your life and read even more delicious words like this, check out the JOY-Subscription.

More words, more access, more JOY. Nothing beats that…other than more chocolate!

Photo Credit: Bud Helisson @budhelisson